Happy 10 months Sam!

I can't believe my baby is so close to one year now. I am so sad. He is growing up way too fast and despite all my efforts to slow down his development, he is leaving babyhood and entering toddlerhood.


I went to the doctor yesterday and weighed Sam. He is 23 1/2 lbs. He is slowing down in his weight gain now that he is crawling (we were actually there for Joey who also has an ear infection like Elysha did).


There are nights when I put Sam to sleep that I just hold him. I love staring at his chubby cheeks pressed against my chest. His juicy lips slightly separated. Every little exhale sounds like a sigh. That look of total, unadulterated surrender is so beautiful and pure. I hold him until my longing ache for his infancy subsides. Those days when he fit in the crook of my arm and slept most of the day away. When it made sense to hold him because he would wake up in 30 minutes anyhow. Those days when I forgot to savor feeling his breath on my face because I too was in a sleepy trance.

I know this sounds kind of creepy but I watch Chang sleep every now and then. First of all, the guy falls asleep the second his head hits the pillow. Literally. So I look over at him, envious that sleep comes so easily for him. But I love how even as an adult, he looks so peaceful when he is asleep. Even while he snores away, I am reminded at how much I love him. But my love only runs so deep...when I am ready to join him in his slumber, I shove him away so he will shift onto his side. This gives me a five minute window to fall asleep before he starts snoring away again.