Parent Teacher Conferences

I'm writing this more for myself...

We had our first round of parent teacher conferences for all three kids.

Sam--we had no idea what to expect. During the three years that our girls went to preschool, not once did any of the teachers come up to us to discuss the girls' behavior. But within the first month of school, one of the teachers chased me down to talk about Sam. Apparently, he gets time outs often and doesn't always listen to the teachers. He is one of the youngest kids there and the teachers seem to really enjoy him being there. He is always giving and getting hugs from the teachers and making them laugh. But he is such a clown that he doesn't buck up when he needs to be focused.

During his conference, we learned that he is actually doing quite well in his academics. He knows all his letters and has already learned about 10 phonetic sounds of the letters. His understanding of numbers is also very strong--he can identify 1 through 10, put them in the correct order, and even count objects to a specific number. He likes to chirp in answers when questions are asked to the class, even when he has no idea what the answer is. He definitely throws tantrums and loses it when he is upset but he's two so it is age-appropriate (unfortunately). All in all, we were all pleased with how he is doing. When we watched him during observation (he didn't know we were watching him), he was having a good time doing the montessori activities so that makes us happy too.

Elysha--Her teacher just raved about her artistic abilities--the attention to detail, the composition, the spatial relations--she was saying this it was all a precursor to writing. We flipped through her journal, which she did in preschool too, and it was just so cute. It's nice that she draws happy pictures, where the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and the people are smiling. She is great at writing her letters and writing phonetically. Her teacher thought she was at a first grade level in her writing abilities. What I am noticing about Elysha is that she is really making breakthroughs in her reading. I feel like she is realizing all that Joey has access to by being able to read, so she has been working harder to really read.

For some reason, though, Elysha keeps getting out of PE. She always claims to be sick or sad or miss me or Chang. So the teacher has been allowing her to sit out, or she tells her to take the class mascot (a stuffed animal crab) for a walk around the play yard. Elysha is our little hippie child. She would be happy to just turn in circles with a crown of flowers around her head and skip around chasing butterflies. When she is on the soccer field, she gets distracted by pretty much everything but the game. We are starting to think that perhaps, team sports is not for her. =) We think she has more natural skills than her siblings but she just doesn't have that "killer" instinct to go after the ball or run fast or play hard.

She is also a perfectionist which is both good and bad. She works hard on her drawings, but when it isn't exactly as she envisioned it, she gets so frustrated. But her drawings are just so beautiful and thoughtful. In some sense, this is why she is great at math. There is only one right answer and so arriving at the answer doesn't disturb her. She's right and done--end of story.

Joey--Where do I begin? She has really bloomed this year. Last year, even though she did extremely well academically, she had some issues socially. This year, she doesn't have these issues anymore. She has her group of friends, she gets along with all the kids in her class, and she has this confidence about her that is almost palpable. Chang thinks it has to do with her experience with her drama club last year. I agree that it is in part because of mini-players. But I also think she came into this year with a greater sense of who she is.

She is in a 1st and 2nd grade combination class which is perfect for her. Even as a 2 year old, she insisted on being grouped with older children, believing that she was capable of doing the same level of work. She was able to write her name when she was only two--but I don't think she even knew the alphabet. She just remembered what lines and curves made her name. So in her class now, she is trying to keep up with the 2nd graders. It has been a great challenge for her and she works really hard to get to their level.

Her teacher said she is reading and comprehending at a end of 2nd grade level. She is a really strong writer. Her spelling could be better but I am already amazed at how well she spells considering how poor it was just a year ago. But stylistically, she is a great writer. It is interesting, nicely paced, with a definitive beginning and ending. Her teacher said that out of a high score of 4, she judges her writing to be 3+.

In math, she is also excelling. I had discussions with her regarding placing Joey in 2nd grade math because of Joey's complaints that her math class was too easy and boring. But we talked about it and agreed that it would be better to keep her in the higher level 1st grade math class. Even though it is easy for her, I would rather she have a solid grasp of what she is learning. Every day, the students do a "mad minute" math quiz in which the have to solve 30 problems in 3 minutes. After a student gets a perfect score five times, she can advance to the next level. Joey is on the fourth level.

Her teacher was saying that she is such a joy in the classroom. She said she is the complete student--she excels in the classroom, she is well liked by her peers, she is generous and kind--always willing to give and receive help. I talked to her about having Joey identified as gifted when she is in 3rd grade (the process begins in 2nd grade). She said that she has already has it in mind to have Joey tested as highly gifted at the end of 2nd grade by the Raven test.

Needless to say, we are so proud of all of our kids. It is every parents' dream to hear that our children are excelling, but also that they are happy, liked by their peers, and enjoy their learning environment.

My Swan Song...

As you can tell, I haven't been posting too furiously these days. I think I might be hanging up my blogging cap for a while. It's been fun and I have enjoyed writing again. But I feel like I can barely keep up with everything else.

I toyed with not letting Sam take naps for the last few weeks because he has been staying up after we put him to bed--usually singing in his crib (today he was singing Beyonce's "Single Ladies"). Sometimes he wouldn't sleep for hours.

But the nap moratorium was painful for two reasons. One, my days were 12-13 hour days with no breaks. Two, Sam was excruciatingly grumpy because he didn't nap. Last week, however, Sam finally decided to jump out of his crib, come out of his room, and start unloading the dishwasher in the mornings--which would be fine except he often takes things out of the dishwasher and put his mouth all over it. So we moved him into his toddler bed, decked out with new Disney Car's sheets. Now that Sam knows he can exit his room whenever he wants, he has been waking up at the crack of dawn. Thanks to my brainwashing, he only wants Chang in the morning. So even though Chang has more reason to complain, I am still exhausted by the fact that Sam wakes Chang up earlier than before (cue the rolling of eyes from Chang).

These days, Sam has been a terror (yes, my sweet angel baby is the thorn in my flesh at the moment). I'm sure it is a combination of terrible two's and getting significantly less sleep than before, but I am ready to ship him off to a boarding preschool.

In August, Sam will start preschool, so long as I tackle potty training. But honestly, I am sending him in August, no matter what. I'm sure the teachers will hate me because he will have several accidents daily and he is supposed to be fully potty trained. But I am ready for freedom. I have a long laundry list of things that I want to do--finally get fit and fabulous, clean every nook and corner of my house, and meet friends in the middle of the day for cocktails. That is it--no more lofty goals of going to school or writing a book. I just want to enjoy my freedom. I am envisioning myself breaking into a song as I go along the day. Birds will come and sit on my shoulder, people around me will suddenly dance with me in a choreographed ditty. I want to get dressed every day looking like Carrie Bradshaw--no more mommy uniform for me. I am going to wear heels and carry a gorgeous purse because I finally won't have to worry about carrying diapers or a sippy cup in it. La la la laboutin! I can't wait!

So I might post pictures of my kids on occasion but this could be my swan song. The end of the school year is almost here which means I will have all three kids home with me a lot this summer. Then Elysha will be starting kindergarten, Joey will be in first grade and Sam will be going to school on the other side of town. This means, three different schedules at two different locations. It is going to be crazy and though I will finally be childless for the first time in over six years, it will really only be a couple hours every day and that includes the 90 + minutes I will be driving back and forth between the two schools. Freedom finally, yes, but just a little bit.

It's been fun and I appreciate you coming along in my journey of honest parenting. It sucks sometimes...but I still love them...especially when they are sleeping...

Dinosaur Train Guest Stars

Sometime last year (not sure when since everyday is a blur but I can say with certainty it was last year), I took the kids to the Jim Henson studios to a promotion for mommy bloggers. I thought we were going to preview their new show Dinosaur Train and the kids would sit in the audience. But it turns out, they actually wanted to use our kids for a brief explanation clip after the animated segments. I brought Sam into the recording studio as well but the director took one look at him and asked me how old he was. I said, "almost two," which the director repeated back in a mocking tone. "Does he talk?" he asked. "Not that well, but he can talk," I replied. The director turned to Sam. "Sam, can you say Tyrannosaurus Rex?" Sam looked at him blankly with drool coming down his chin. I immediately picked up Sam and said, "Never mind."

Anyhow, the girls almost didn't pull it off. It was really intimidating being in that big room with all these hot lights on them and a stranger asking them to say words that weren't part of their everyday vocabulary. The director almost kicked out our whole group but decided to give them one last shot. Here are the results (if you just want to watch the girls' segment, move the timeline to 3:50).

Mean Girls

After reading about Phoebe Prince, it got me thinking. As I mentioned before, Joey was having issues at school with her friends. From what her teacher told me, Joey is a part of this group of girls which mostly consists of four girls. Out of these four girls, there is one little girl, O, that everyone just adores. Joey considers this girl her best friend. Trouble is, I think that all the girls consider O their best friend. Another little girl in their group is a very dominant, alpha-female sort of personality, A. Whenever Joey and O were getting close, A would get jealous and be mean to Joey. She would exclude Joey from games, get the other girls to exclude Joey, and say mean things to her.

Every now and then, when I picked up Joey from school, she would tell me that O or A were being mean to her, and I didn't take it too seriously. I would just tell her to walk away, find other people to play with, or that it was okay to play on her own too.

One day when I was picking up Joey from school, she looked really forlorn. She was being comforted by her teacher and was so distracted that she didn't see me coming. I asked what was going on and her teacher told me what was going on for the past few weeks. I felt so bad for Joey that she had to experience such aggressive behavior from other girls. But at the same time, I was surprised that it could all start so young. The teacher informed me that she had emailed A's parents and told them that their daughter's behavior was not acceptable. She didn't think that Joey was culpable and because she is so sweet and sensitive, her teacher thought it made her an easier target for A. So I tried to help Joey cultivate stronger friendships with each of these girls individually. But now I would like to try and help Joey become better friends with other little girls in her class--girls who are not so dominant and aggressive. It's funny because the teacher referred to Joey's little clique as the popular group--already! In kindergarten! Her teacher threw her hands up in the air and with disbelief said that she couldn't believe it started so young. She said that every year, there is a group of girls in her class that are catty and mean. The troubling thing that she said is that it just gets worse--even more reason to get Joey closer to other kids.

I've learned two things from all this: 1) to teach Joey to stand up for herself. As the oldest child, she has been brainwashed to give in to her brother and sister. I think we have always valued sacrifice and admired Joey for her willingness to give up things or privileges to her siblings. But now we have been trying to teach her that it is okay to say no, but just not be mean in her refusal. 2) to teach all three kids the golden rule should be applied in reverse too. We keep harping on the girls especially to treat other people the way they want to be treated. But now I am also telling Joey that she should expect people to treat her with kindness and if they don't, then perhaps those are not friends worth keeping.

Sorry, another brain puking post but it's hard to believe I am dealing with such issues with my kindergartener (not to freak you out Mommy Lim) and it is making me flashforward to the girls' future and hoping and praying that they find good friends. Chances are, the friends they make in their first two years of elementary school will be their closest friends until they graduate 5th grade and possibly beyond. So it isn't entirely neurotic of me to be concerned, right?

Brain Puking Blog Post

Sorry for the long silence. I'm not sure why I haven't been writing. Probably because I am still tired. The kids have been sleeping better though we still get the occasional early morning cry from Sam. I've taught Joey how to tell time so she knows to not come into our room before 7am. Elysha continues to sleep blissfully until she gets woken up. I don't know what it is but I am exhausted.

I've decided to keep the kids home with me for five weeks. If I put the kids in school all summer, it would cost over $6000 for two months. So it makes fiscal sense to have them home with me. I think I can handle it (I think I can, I think I can). I have already devised a daily morning and afternoon schedule for those five weeks in order to keep myself from freaking out. It consists of hikes, beach trips, museum trips, library trips, as well as cooking classes from Chef Mommy and Korean classes from Uhmma (just the alphabet and basic words would be awesome). If the kids and I come out of July alive but absolutely nothing accomplished, I will still consider it a success. If you hear a sudden burst of song August 2nd in the morning, it will be me singing hallelujah, the kids are all in school!

Another part of my fatigue is probably all the playdates I have been hosting. I still feel like Joey has yet to really find her groove with her friends at school. I am getting the sense that the person Joey likes the most in her class doesn't feel the same way about her. So I am trying to help Joey build stronger connections with other classmates but that means hosting two to three playdates a week. Of course, if I host one playdate for Joey, then I feel obliged to do the same for Elysha. It's such a foreign concept to me that I have to work this hard for my kids to have friends. Growing up, all of the families in our little cul-de-sac had kids around the same age. After school, we would all hang out on our street and play kick ball or ride bikes. Or I would just go over to my best friend's house who lived a couple doors down from me. There was no organization for playdates. Everyday was a playdate.

I'm sure I had homework in elementary school but I don't remember ever doing any. But everyday there is the stress of getting Joey's homework done and then practicing piano and hopefully reading a little bit. All this while trying to not completely ignore Elysha and Sam, as well as do the dishes from the day and then cook a dinner that would make Jamie Oliver proud. I think I just feel worn down from the daily routine. Not to mention Chang's upcoming birthday, and converting our office to a guest room, and an impending visit from my sister in law, and errands for my mom, and dealing with my dad.

I hope I don't sound depressed because I am not...though after writing all this I think I should be! As much as my life drives me insane, I know that I am still blessed. I have a good life and my complaints are trivial in the grand scheme of things. But I am still counting down the days until August 2! I will finally get a break and (gasp!) be on my own for the first time in almost seven years. I can't even wrap my head around the idea of it but I am sure I will get used to it really quick!

Our Exotic Beach Getaway

We took a big trip last weekend. We went from LA County to Orange County. It was a torturous hour drive. We were all a little jetlagged but somehow managed to stay awake the first day there.

We really lucked out and had the most gorgeous weather imaginable. Mid-70's all weekend, sunny, but never hot, which worked out for the us because for about 20 hours each day, the kids wanted to play in the pool. From the moment they woke up until the sun went down and it was so cold that Sam's lips turned blue, the kids demanded pool time. We had to beg them to consider going to the beach which is something they would do daily if they could. Once we had to bribe them with ice cream to get them out of the pool. I don't have any pictures of us in the pool since I had to be in the pool too, but I did manage to get pictures of our single beach outing.

This is at Crystal Cove State Park. If you can see to the left, there are rocks all along the beach which allowed tide pools to form.

Here is Joey exploring the tide pools with me. She was so fascinated with the sea anemone, hermit crabs, mussels, and abalone shells. And thanks to Sesame Street, we already learned about habitats!

Elysha just wanted to build sand castles. The girl loves playing in the sand and can do it all day.

This is why going to the beach with three kids is a tremendous feat! They all go in different directions at the same time.

Sam loves the beach and squishing sand under his toes or running into the water.

This picture speaks for itself...

Beach Boys vs Backstreet Boys

Joey is now a full-fledged reader. I am amazed at how much her reading ability has improved in this past year. Her teacher is recommending that she begin reading chapter books. Though I would like for her to tackle War and Peace soon, I figure we would just ease into it with some fun books like Junia B Jones, Magic Tree House, and Amelia Bedelia.

Joey has been reading Amelia Bedelia for a while now and those books bring back memories. I read Amelia Bedelia when I was younger and I remember not understanding the idioms or phrases used in the book. I didn't get the humor of the book at all though I understood the premise of the book. To a certain degree, I felt like Amelia Bedelia. Even though I was born and raised here in the states, I am definitely the child of immigrant parents and a lot of things that are so ingrained in American culture are things I am still trying to figure out.

I realized that there are some lessons learned through formal education and other lessons learned through parents. So I have decided to take it upon myself to teach our kids music. And I'm not talking about Beethoven. If our kids never learn to distinguish between Fur Elise or Clair de Lune, it's somewhat forgivable. But if our kids don't know the difference between the Beach Boys and the Backstreet Boys, they may end up as the idiot on Jay Leno's "Jay Walking" one day.

So I have been forcing the kids to listen to the radio in the car, instead of Raffi or the Wiggles (thank God I am finally free!). And whenever a song comes on that I deem worthy of retention in their mental music catalogs, I yell out the singer and title of the song. I sing along to try to get them into it, but the girls are not interested at all. Sam, on the other hand, is enjoying it for the most part. Now he asks me who is singing when we listen to the radio and he always repeats the name as if he will actually remember.

Sam: Who's this, Mommy?
Me: This is Soft Cell.
Sam: Sah Sel?
Me: Mm-hmm, Soft Cell singing Tainted Love.

Next song...
Sam: Who's this, Mommy?
Me: This is Taylor Sw...never mind. I'm sure in a few years, we'll all be over her.
Sam: Never mind?
Me: Mm-hmm, Baby, never mind.

Art-y Party

It's always a little tricky when I discuss the girls' birthday parties with them. If we talk about it too close to their birthday, then the wait becomes impossible and the party becomes the ONLY topic of discussion. I can't handle that sort of torture. So to avoid such agony (and because I love to plan things well in advance), I will bring up ideas and desired guests for the next birthday party at least four months earlier and then not bring it up again until the week of the party, sometimes not until the day before.

So Joey and I discussed her birthday in October and she wanted to do an art party and I had her write down the names of the friends she wanted to invite. After all the expensive options available outside of our home (seriously, why does a kid's birthday party have to cost $1000?), I decided to do it at our home and serve hot dogs and chips. I was stressed about having 18 kids inside our house but the weather was perfect so we held it in our backyard.

The kids made mosaic crowns:



They also drew pictures which I scanned onto an iron-on transfer and (at a later time) made into a t-shirt with the obligatory jewels.


For her "cake," I made Joey a cookie tower. She freaks out at birthday parties because she doesn't want to eat cake or cupcakes. Before cake time during a birthday party, she runs over to me and asks if she has to eat cake. "Of course not, but mommy is going to eat it," I reply.

It was a fun day. The next day we took the kids to Disney on Ice. Sam loved the Cars but began to lose his patience with Tinkerbell. But I think his favorite part was holding and eating the $10 popcorn.

Happy 6th Birthday Joey!

My dearest Joey,

I can't believe you are six years old already. Time has flown by and you have already grown into a beautiful little girl. There are so many things that I love about you--you are compassionate towards others, a wonderful older sister to your siblings, and you have such a big heart. So many times you sacrifice things that you really want, and give them to others because you like to make other people happy. I see all the ways that show your love and amazing capacity to give at such a young age, and it makes me so proud of the person you have already become, and the person you are going to be. Love, compassion, empathy--these are the gifts that you have been given, and I pray that you will continue to cultivate these gifts as you grow older. I pray that these godly characteristics will flourish in you and that you will continue to touch others with your magnanimous heart. Already I have been so blessed to see such purity in your actions and am so excited in anticipation of what the future holds for you as a woman of character.

You play your role as the oldest sibling so graciously but I also hope that you will learn to be generous with yourself. Sometimes you make comments that denigrate yourself, and I know it is because as hard as I am on you, you are hard on yourself. I hate to see you beat yourself up. I really pray that you learn that every accomplishment is a process. As intelligent and bright as you are, nothing can take the place of perseverance and hard work. Things have come to you easily because you are smart, but when things like spelling or playing a new song on the piano gets hard, you beat yourself up, and want to give up. You are slowly (albeit painfully) learning that practice makes perfect. I'm sorry that I get so impatient with your own impatience! Hopefully we can work on it together.

I love it when you laugh with abandon and when you beam with pride while showing me your drawings or other artistic endeavors (I hope you never stop drawing, creating, and imagining). I love it when you are playing nicely with Elysha and I see the foundation of a lifetime friendship. I love it when you take care of Sam by reading to him or playing instruments with him. I love to hold you and cuddle with you, and let you know that no matter how big you get, you are still my little baby. Thank you for being who you are, for being patient with me, and for showing boundless love from that great big heart of yours. I love you so much and am so grateful to God for you everyday.

Love,
uhmma

No Surrey for Sammy

I got the weekend off from my grueling PB job last weekend so we decided to go to Santa Barbara for the day. It was our first time going and the weather was perfect.

We started off with a leisurely lunch outside.

Then we decided to rent a surrey. Poor Sam wanted to drive and pedal all by himself. So he cried for 75% of our time on the surrey. I held him after a while and even then, it took him a good 15 minutes to calm down. My iron man had to pedal for all of us because having Sam in my lap and trying to pedal was like trying to bike uphill on the 10th gear. Of course, Chang didn't think I was pulling my weight anyway and said it didn't really make a difference whether I pedaled or not. So I didn't and enjoyed the ride with the kids.

We went to the zoo afterward and the best part was this tiny astroturf hill. Kids were "sledding" down the hill on cardboard scraps.

We waited about in an hour long line to ride on a 10 minute train ride.

After the zoo, we went back downtown and rode the carousel.

The girls were really sweet to each other for most of the day. We had a great time and was back home in time to put them to bed just a little past their bedtime.

Holly Jolly Christmas!

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Just thought I would share some fun pics from our Christmas this year.

We went to a Christmas Eve service at a local church. When I told the girls to get dressed up, Joey came decked out in huge diamond drop earrings, her heart necklace, a pink ring, and a turquoise bracelet with a cross on it. The girl loves to accessorize!

Then the kids changed into their Christmas pajamas, a fun gift from a good friend!

The girls were so excited they didn't sleep until midnight.

Here are the Christmas cookies the girls decorated for Santa. We also left out celery sticks for the reindeer.

Santa's presents for the kids. He must get a discount at Pottery Barn Kids too because he got a Barbie bowl/dish/cup set for the girls and a Spiderman set for Sam.

Since I refused to buy the girls new costumes for Halloween this year, I got these costumes for next year. If you go right before Halloween to the Disney store, whatever costumes are left are usually 50% off.


Sam got two keyboards for Christmas! We also got an edible arrangement which came in this red tin drum. Sam found the drum and loved the sound it makes when he bangs on it. On his own, he made up his own little drum set. Then he has been turning on the percussion accompaniment song on the keyboard and banging around the drums.

Our goofball.

Why Elysha Needs a Big Bed

Parent Teacher Conferences for Fall 2009

We went through another round of parent teacher conferences for the girls. It is interesting to hear their teachers' perspectives, especially as the girls get older. I see how their personalities are becoming more defined. And of course, because I like to overanalyze everything, I think about what this means for their future in terms of academics, social development, sibling dynamics, etc. (This post is boring but I want to remember what the teachers said and my reflections of the girls upon hearing the teachers' observations--sorry!)

Joey has been doing really well in kindergarten. It took her a while to get comfortable with the other kids. Her teacher said that for the first few weeks, she wouldn't go outside and interact with the other kids. She would come back into the classroom and ask to help her teacher. I was very eager to help her make friends so I organized a playdate with a girl who Joey mentioned was nice to her. Suddenly, I had other girls' moms asking for playdates with Joey and now Joey has her group of friends. Yay! The teacher also mentioned that Joey is well liked by her classmates and gets along with them.

The teacher gave us a list of skills that kindergarteners need to master by the end of the year. Out of the list of 21 skills, Joey has two that she hasn't mastered. She couldn't read 5 of the 54 "sight words" and she needs to improve in her spelling when writing. The teacher was saying that she was hoping that Joey would take on a leadership role in the class but Joey is hesitant to be in the spotlight. That sounds about right. Even when Joey was two years old, she always hated being the center of attention in a large group setting. Among friends and family, she's comfortable--but bring in just one or two strangers, forget it. That's like me now, but I think as a kid, I was a lot more outgoing.

I'm really happy that we decided to start her off in kindergarten. The kids learn a lot of the culture, work ethics, and teacher expectations in kindergarten. While Joey would probably have fared decently in first grade, we are on a much more gradual learning curve. I've been supplementing her homework since it is so basic which has been forcing me to become more involved in their academic development. Darn--I guess I could only hold off for so long. And I guess that nerd gene is alive and well in me too. One thing I am loving is Joey's piano lessons. I am learning how to read music which I never learned to do in my 20 years of piano lessons.

Elysha is so different from Joey. They are both smart. But Joey has this innate desire to please others. Elysha could not care less. This is her teacher's observation. This is the same preschool teacher that Joey had so she was also marveling at how different the two girls are.

What cracks me up about Elysha is that she doesn't seem engaged while a teacher or parent is speaking (okay, cracks me up when it is someone else, really irritates me when it is me that she is rolling her eyes at). She doesn't appear to listen to you when she is talking but she gets it. She's definitely not a teacher's pet, but thankfully, she isn't a problem student either. She's going to be one of those kids who doodles on her notes in class and listens to music while studying but will perform just as well as the student who takes copious notes. She won't be gunning for extra credit, though, that is for sure.

Elysha doesn't challenge herself and would be happy to draw all day. But when her teacher asks her to do something, she is compliant. Elysha's reading has improved dramatically within the last two weeks. Things finally clicked for her and she is able to read the BOB books with no problem. She's at that stage where she is trying to read everything around her.

Elysha has no problems being the leader and speaking in front of the class. Now that she is one of the older children at her preschool, she has taken on a leadership role--she likes to help the younger kids but also likes to keep up with the kindergarteners. I don't know that she "competes" with Joey so much as she uses Joey as a pacemaker. She wants to keep up--Elysha gets upset when she can't do things as well as Joey--but we just keep reminding her that when Joey was her age, she could not do x,y,z either. Elysha used to get really upset but I think she is understanding better that it is a process.

We talked about Sam entering preschool next summer. He just seems so young compared to the girls at his age. I wonder how much of it is gender/personality vs. me coddling him. I wonder if he will be ready next summer and as excited as I am to finally be able to pee without Sam playing with his cars along the bathtub, I really wonder if I will be ready next summer to let him go. You would think that I would be singing from the rooftops "Freedom!" But a part of me thinks that I will be crying while I am getting a pedicure (because I will be finally taking care of myself after almost seven years of letting myself go to pot).

Explicit Pics--Don't look if you don't have the stomach

Okay, this doesn't have to do with my lip. No more pus, but the broken blood vessels turned into a canker sore. Now it is interfering with eating so I am really annoyed...

We bought a camera for Joey for Christmas 2007. It is one of those Kid Tuff cameras and it is great. It really does withstand all sorts of drops and falls but the picture quality isn't that great. Plus, the kids end up taking 50 pictures of their toes or heads are cropped out. So it is not just the camera that is causing low picture quality, if you get what I mean...

Anyhow, Joey has been bugging me to upload the photos onto the computer because the memory card was full. I finally downloaded all 774 pictures and went through each and every one of them. I deleted all the blurry pics, headless photos, pics of my boobs when I was breastfeeding Sam--but then I found this photo journal which I thought was hilarious:




The picture before the empty toilet shot is of Elysha's butt. Joey probably took these photos when she was four years old. Aren't kids so funny?

A Visit from the Tooth Fairy

Joey lost her two front bottom teeth on Monday night. She lost one while she was eating dinner and I had to search the kitchen floor for it. I was so afraid she somehow swallowed it. So we wiggled the other loose tooth until it came out. She was so excited about the impending visit from the tooth fairy.

Later that night, Chang and I were already in bed when he suddenly remembered Joey's teeth in a bowl next to her bed (she was going to put it under her pillow but that kind of grosses me out. I convinced her to leave it in a bowl). Chang was going to go out and buy something for her but I didn't want to set a precedent for grand gifts from the tooth fairy. I kept arguing that a quarter per tooth was more than enough but Chang is a lot nicer than I am. So he made her an origami piano and gave her a dollar coin and a quarter.


I know that I said it before but I love that the kids believe in this stuff. For Christmas, we made gingerbread cookies and left out milk for Santa. Before we went to bed, Chang and I took bites of the three cookies and drank the milk. The next morning we could hear them running over to the plate, seeing the missing cookies and milk, and then bounding over to our room with mad excitement. "Santa came and ate the cookies and drank the milk!!!"

The Invention of Lying

These days Joey lies...a lot. Unfortunately for her, Elysha rats her out...a lot. But instead of getting mad at Elysha, Joey becomes overwhelmed with guilt and confesses the truth. I honestly have lied in bed at night, wondering where I went wrong that my five-year old daughter is already so good at lying.

Then tonight, I read in Redbook the following:

"Your kid is going to lie...and that's okay. It means the child is cognitively advanced enough to hold in their mind both the truth and an alternative idea, which requires a lot of attention control."

Man, Joey is a friggin' genius!


First day of kindergarten. I totally forgot a camera so I took this with my phone. Bad mom...

Back on Track

Sorry for being so bad about missing out on the blogging world these last couple of months. I don't even remember what made the summer so crazy except that the girls were home for about a month. Yeah, I guess that would make my life pretty crazy having three kids home with me 24/7...

I completely quit Savvy now that I helped them transition over to their new format. It's strange not having anything other to do except just the normal household stuff. I feel like I have so much time on my hands now.



We've had to wake up earlier so that we can get Joey to school on time. I don't know if it is due to lack of sleep but we have all been really cranky. By the time the kids go to sleep, I am so tired that I just completely veg in front of the TV while eating ice cream. I have discovered the CW shows and I am officially in love with America's Top Model. I find it completely fascinating but I'm not sure why. Maybe it is because I enjoy hating these vapid pretty girls and their petty catfights...but that doesn't explain the tears of sympathy I shed for the girls who get kicked off, and why I am so looking forward to watching the new episode tonight!

Sam had a verbal explosion and he talks like crazy. It's really cute and a huge relief that he can communicate his needs instead of pointing his fingers and grunting. But he also says things like, "That's funny Mommy!" or "Stop it, Daddy!" or "I want ice cream."



We ran out of formula and I decided it's time to say good-bye to the bottle. I thought it would be a difficult transition since the moment he sees his little 4 oz bottle of formula at night, he would grab it, open the cap, start drinking it, go to his sisters and say good-night (and give them a big formula-tasting kiss), and then grab his blankie and a book, climb up the glider and get ready for bed. He loved his bottle and honestly, I loved giving it to him. It was my way of hindering his development and keeping him my little baby. Obviously, he was ready to move on because he hasn't had any problems with the adjustment. Now it is just the thin but super-absorbent line of diapers that keeps Sam in babyland. But that is something I would be more than happy to be done with so we'll start working on potty training. I have no idea how to potty train a boy so this will be a challenge I'm sure.



Joey has a loose tooth! She is so excited. "I'm going to get A LOT of money from the tooth fairy!" she exclaimed. Without looking at her I said, "Mmmm, maybe not a lot of money. Maybe just a quarter which you can put in your piggy bank and put towards your college savings."



We have also been working on Joey not sucking her thumb since August. For the last few years, she has said that she wanted to stop but it was hard for her to commit to it. I finally broke down a bought a thumb guard and it worked really well. Within a week, she didn't need it during the days. At nights, however, she pulls it off and sucks her thumb. But since her tooth came loose, she said that she stopped sucking at nights too because we told her that it might make her tooth come out too early and it will hurt. So Joey might have finally stopped with her thumb sucking which is a major achievement. She found her thumb at three months and has sucked it non-stop since then.

We are the World

Living in LA, you can imagine that there are a lot of people on street corners asking for money. Last month, as we were stopped at an intersection, Joey noticed a man holding a sign walking down the divider. She asked what he was doing. I explained to her that he didn't have a home and he was asking for money. Then I went on to remind the kids that we should be grateful for all that we have and not be greedy or materialistic. That night Joey wanted to pray for that man during our nightly prayers. I thought it was so sweet of her, so we talked about things that we could do to help people less fortunate than we are. We made a plan to break open the girls' piggy banks and donate 10% of their money to help homeless kids. I told her that it is nice that she was so concerned. As I kissed them good night, I felt secretly proud to be raising such good-hearted, generous girls.

After we put the kids to bed, Joey came out crying because she couldn't stop thinking about the man. "You better get back into bed or we won't be helping the homeless people anymore!" So Joey reluctantly went back into her room.

Yesterday, after hanging out at the LA County Art Museum, we saw another panhandler. Joey asked about this man also and asked why we weren't giving him money if he needed it. Chang was about to pull out some loose change to give to him, and I told him not to. He said, "I just don't want her staying awake again because of this!"

I tried to explain to Joey that it is good to donate to organizations to help people in need. "Mommy and Daddy give money to places like that so that they can help others. Like we have two children from Africa..."
Joey: Mommy, we're not African!
Chang just started laughing so hard and so did I. I couldn't finish my explanation that we support two girls who live in Africa through World Vision. It was just too funny. Then Joey started to laugh too, but for different reasons.
Joey: Mommy, we're not from Africa. We're Korean!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

The other day Joey and Elysha were playing horse racing in the car with their My Little Ponies. Joey pretended to be blowing past Elysha so she said, "See you later, alligator!"

So Elysha said to Joey, "See you later, hippopotamus!"

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We went to our elementary school's ice cream social for incoming kindergarteners. Joey was really excited and all day, changed her clothes, added and removed accessories, and decided she was going to wear her fancy shoes. When Chang got home from work, he put on a pair of shorts, but didn't put on a shirt since it has been blistering hot these days (we don't have any form of air conditioning so it's pretty hot inside our house). Chang was trying to corral the kids to get ready to go, so he said, "Come on, let's get going."

Joey was mortified and yelled at Chang, "Daddy put a shirt on! It's rude to go without a shirt!" Of course, Chang had every intention of putting on a shirt before we left the house. But that wasn't clear to Joey. I'm sure she was just concerned that the other kids would be jealous of her father's amazing physique.

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Sam's vocabulary continues to expand. The other day in the car he kept repeating something. I wasn't quite sure what he was saying but it sounded like he wanted something. Then we passed the Golden Arches and his repetitive cry became more emphatic.

"I want McDonald's!"

I'm too sexy for my shirt...

Why Preschool is a Safe Place for Parents to Grow Up

Also posted on Savvy Source:

Last week my oldest daughter started kindergarten camp at her new school. It is hard to believe she has hit this milestone already but here she is. I don't quite understand why she is so excited to start kindergarten. Maybe she got a secret memo that all students will be assigned a unicorn and a fairy godmother. In any case, when we got to the campus which appeared to be as large as a college campus, my daughter proudly walked through the gates. As I walked her to her class, we passed by ten foot boys and girls, and I wondered silently what high school students were doing on the campus. Then I realized that fifth graders are literally twice my daughter's age. I wrapped both of my arms around her as we walked, afraid of the moment that I would have to leave her for the day. We entered her classroom and were welcomed by a dozen students and a friendly teacher. My daughter gave me a kiss goodbye and tried to send me on my way. I left extremely reluctantly. When I found out there was a field trip at the end of the week, I asked if they needed any chaperons. "Nope, we're all set. It's time to let your little birdie leave the nest." Okay, maybe she didn't say that "leaving the nest" comment but that was the look she gave me when I asked to tag along on the field trip. I got back into the car and sobbed. I called my mom for comfort but all she could hear on the other end was high-pitched wailing.

As I smothered my toddler son the rest of that day (I refuse to let my baby grow up in warp speed like my oldest has), I realized how wonderful preschool is. It is a small, safe environment for parents to learn how to slowly let go of our children. I'm sure you probably think I am one of those parents who coddles her children and whose life revolves around them. Believe it or not, I am not...which is why I was so shocked by how emotional I got the day of kindergarten camp (I'm already prepared to completely lose it on the real first day of kindergarten). But I just felt like I was dropping a guppy into a tank full of sharks and hoping she survives the day.

I admit that I cried on the first day of preschool too. But that was for totally different reasons. She's my first born and I felt like it was the first big leap towards her imminent departure from my home...you know...for college. But it wasn't a sense of panic that brought on the tears. It was just the understanding that I had to let go. Preschool is wonderful for that (I realize that I am speaking from a full-time mom's perspective so I apologize). It is the first time that we learn to entrust our children into the hands of others, and also learn to trust our children. It is a place where all the little things we hope we are teaching them are practiced without us hovering over them--like washing hands after using the potty, not snatching toys away from others, and taking turns. It is the first time that they choose their own friends. We can't tell them to stay away from the boy who likes to say poo-poo too much or the girl who eats her boogers. It is a G-rated world where the S word is s-t-u-p-i-d.

Preschool is where parents take that first step towards not being the eyes, ears, and brain for your little ones. You are eased into it. Sometimes just twice a week for three hours at a time. And even then, when your kid picks up a bad habit from another kid in class, that sense of dread washes over you like a shot of Nyquil. It's not pleasant at first, but after a while, you feel warm and tingly. If it wasn't for that girl with the older brother who has been teaching my child how to making farting noises with her armpits, my child would still be perfect! But you realize that the trade-off is kind of nice. During that time away from your child, you could go to the gym, the grocery store, clean the house, and read the first ten chapters of War and Peace--wow, was I always this efficient with an extra two hours of time? Or you actually spend some one on one time with your baby who you never noticed had blue eyes because all those months you were breastfeeding, you were holding your baby in one arm, and wiping your newly potty-trained son's butt with the other. In any case, you get used to it pretty darn quickly. You embrace the idea of your child attending preschool and feel like this is going to be it. For two years, you are surrounded by the same twelve kids, you know all the moms, dads, nannies, siblings, grandparents, second cousins twice removed. It is a safe world. Then the world as you know it is ripped from you like a band-aid on a hairy arm. It hurts. A lot.

I know that I will get used to kindergarten and elementary school. I can't help but feel all the more grateful for preschool--the safety and comfort it provided me, as a parent, to let go of my child slowly, before entering the big world of grade school. And with that, I bid you adieu, Savvy readers. This is my last week. I am enjoyed my tenure but it is time for me to move on. I leave you in the capable hands of Elise Crane Derby, a former preschool teacher and blogger extraordinaire!