Parent Teacher Conferences for Fall 2009

We went through another round of parent teacher conferences for the girls. It is interesting to hear their teachers' perspectives, especially as the girls get older. I see how their personalities are becoming more defined. And of course, because I like to overanalyze everything, I think about what this means for their future in terms of academics, social development, sibling dynamics, etc. (This post is boring but I want to remember what the teachers said and my reflections of the girls upon hearing the teachers' observations--sorry!)

Joey has been doing really well in kindergarten. It took her a while to get comfortable with the other kids. Her teacher said that for the first few weeks, she wouldn't go outside and interact with the other kids. She would come back into the classroom and ask to help her teacher. I was very eager to help her make friends so I organized a playdate with a girl who Joey mentioned was nice to her. Suddenly, I had other girls' moms asking for playdates with Joey and now Joey has her group of friends. Yay! The teacher also mentioned that Joey is well liked by her classmates and gets along with them.

The teacher gave us a list of skills that kindergarteners need to master by the end of the year. Out of the list of 21 skills, Joey has two that she hasn't mastered. She couldn't read 5 of the 54 "sight words" and she needs to improve in her spelling when writing. The teacher was saying that she was hoping that Joey would take on a leadership role in the class but Joey is hesitant to be in the spotlight. That sounds about right. Even when Joey was two years old, she always hated being the center of attention in a large group setting. Among friends and family, she's comfortable--but bring in just one or two strangers, forget it. That's like me now, but I think as a kid, I was a lot more outgoing.

I'm really happy that we decided to start her off in kindergarten. The kids learn a lot of the culture, work ethics, and teacher expectations in kindergarten. While Joey would probably have fared decently in first grade, we are on a much more gradual learning curve. I've been supplementing her homework since it is so basic which has been forcing me to become more involved in their academic development. Darn--I guess I could only hold off for so long. And I guess that nerd gene is alive and well in me too. One thing I am loving is Joey's piano lessons. I am learning how to read music which I never learned to do in my 20 years of piano lessons.

Elysha is so different from Joey. They are both smart. But Joey has this innate desire to please others. Elysha could not care less. This is her teacher's observation. This is the same preschool teacher that Joey had so she was also marveling at how different the two girls are.

What cracks me up about Elysha is that she doesn't seem engaged while a teacher or parent is speaking (okay, cracks me up when it is someone else, really irritates me when it is me that she is rolling her eyes at). She doesn't appear to listen to you when she is talking but she gets it. She's definitely not a teacher's pet, but thankfully, she isn't a problem student either. She's going to be one of those kids who doodles on her notes in class and listens to music while studying but will perform just as well as the student who takes copious notes. She won't be gunning for extra credit, though, that is for sure.

Elysha doesn't challenge herself and would be happy to draw all day. But when her teacher asks her to do something, she is compliant. Elysha's reading has improved dramatically within the last two weeks. Things finally clicked for her and she is able to read the BOB books with no problem. She's at that stage where she is trying to read everything around her.

Elysha has no problems being the leader and speaking in front of the class. Now that she is one of the older children at her preschool, she has taken on a leadership role--she likes to help the younger kids but also likes to keep up with the kindergarteners. I don't know that she "competes" with Joey so much as she uses Joey as a pacemaker. She wants to keep up--Elysha gets upset when she can't do things as well as Joey--but we just keep reminding her that when Joey was her age, she could not do x,y,z either. Elysha used to get really upset but I think she is understanding better that it is a process.

We talked about Sam entering preschool next summer. He just seems so young compared to the girls at his age. I wonder how much of it is gender/personality vs. me coddling him. I wonder if he will be ready next summer and as excited as I am to finally be able to pee without Sam playing with his cars along the bathtub, I really wonder if I will be ready next summer to let him go. You would think that I would be singing from the rooftops "Freedom!" But a part of me thinks that I will be crying while I am getting a pedicure (because I will be finally taking care of myself after almost seven years of letting myself go to pot).