Parent Teacher Conferences for Fall 2009

We went through another round of parent teacher conferences for the girls. It is interesting to hear their teachers' perspectives, especially as the girls get older. I see how their personalities are becoming more defined. And of course, because I like to overanalyze everything, I think about what this means for their future in terms of academics, social development, sibling dynamics, etc. (This post is boring but I want to remember what the teachers said and my reflections of the girls upon hearing the teachers' observations--sorry!)

Joey has been doing really well in kindergarten. It took her a while to get comfortable with the other kids. Her teacher said that for the first few weeks, she wouldn't go outside and interact with the other kids. She would come back into the classroom and ask to help her teacher. I was very eager to help her make friends so I organized a playdate with a girl who Joey mentioned was nice to her. Suddenly, I had other girls' moms asking for playdates with Joey and now Joey has her group of friends. Yay! The teacher also mentioned that Joey is well liked by her classmates and gets along with them.

The teacher gave us a list of skills that kindergarteners need to master by the end of the year. Out of the list of 21 skills, Joey has two that she hasn't mastered. She couldn't read 5 of the 54 "sight words" and she needs to improve in her spelling when writing. The teacher was saying that she was hoping that Joey would take on a leadership role in the class but Joey is hesitant to be in the spotlight. That sounds about right. Even when Joey was two years old, she always hated being the center of attention in a large group setting. Among friends and family, she's comfortable--but bring in just one or two strangers, forget it. That's like me now, but I think as a kid, I was a lot more outgoing.

I'm really happy that we decided to start her off in kindergarten. The kids learn a lot of the culture, work ethics, and teacher expectations in kindergarten. While Joey would probably have fared decently in first grade, we are on a much more gradual learning curve. I've been supplementing her homework since it is so basic which has been forcing me to become more involved in their academic development. Darn--I guess I could only hold off for so long. And I guess that nerd gene is alive and well in me too. One thing I am loving is Joey's piano lessons. I am learning how to read music which I never learned to do in my 20 years of piano lessons.

Elysha is so different from Joey. They are both smart. But Joey has this innate desire to please others. Elysha could not care less. This is her teacher's observation. This is the same preschool teacher that Joey had so she was also marveling at how different the two girls are.

What cracks me up about Elysha is that she doesn't seem engaged while a teacher or parent is speaking (okay, cracks me up when it is someone else, really irritates me when it is me that she is rolling her eyes at). She doesn't appear to listen to you when she is talking but she gets it. She's definitely not a teacher's pet, but thankfully, she isn't a problem student either. She's going to be one of those kids who doodles on her notes in class and listens to music while studying but will perform just as well as the student who takes copious notes. She won't be gunning for extra credit, though, that is for sure.

Elysha doesn't challenge herself and would be happy to draw all day. But when her teacher asks her to do something, she is compliant. Elysha's reading has improved dramatically within the last two weeks. Things finally clicked for her and she is able to read the BOB books with no problem. She's at that stage where she is trying to read everything around her.

Elysha has no problems being the leader and speaking in front of the class. Now that she is one of the older children at her preschool, she has taken on a leadership role--she likes to help the younger kids but also likes to keep up with the kindergarteners. I don't know that she "competes" with Joey so much as she uses Joey as a pacemaker. She wants to keep up--Elysha gets upset when she can't do things as well as Joey--but we just keep reminding her that when Joey was her age, she could not do x,y,z either. Elysha used to get really upset but I think she is understanding better that it is a process.

We talked about Sam entering preschool next summer. He just seems so young compared to the girls at his age. I wonder how much of it is gender/personality vs. me coddling him. I wonder if he will be ready next summer and as excited as I am to finally be able to pee without Sam playing with his cars along the bathtub, I really wonder if I will be ready next summer to let him go. You would think that I would be singing from the rooftops "Freedom!" But a part of me thinks that I will be crying while I am getting a pedicure (because I will be finally taking care of myself after almost seven years of letting myself go to pot).

First Day of School Memories

Joey started Kindergarten camp today at her new elementary school. She has been counting down the days all summer long. She was so excited this morning and when I picked her up, she looked really happy. I wanted to hear all about what she did and here is what she told me:

The other kids lied--but she didn't because she knew it was wrong.
The other kids called one of the teachers names and laughed--but she didn't laugh because she thought it was mean.
The other kids are a lot shorter than she is--she thought they were four but then realized that they are all in kindergarten too. "I'm really tall."
She doesn't have to know how to read or do math yet (looks like I may have to sign her up for Kumon after all).

Okay, so I have a goody-two shoes for a daughter. And she may not become the most popular child in the class since she won't participate in rude behavior, she's freakishly tall, and she is advanced in her studies. I am okay with that, and I'm trying to encourage her to find a friend in class that is as prudish as she is so that she will be a good girl all through adolescence and not date until she's 25. But I also love that she appears to have a strong distinction between right and wrong and isn't afraid to stand up for herself.

The other day at the park, these boys were making a game out of running away from Sam. Joey perceived it to be mean and told me what they were doing (these boys are about Joey's age). I told her it was just a game and that it was okay. But she went up to them and said, "Please don't do be mean to my little brother." The boys listened to her and stopped their game.

We got the girls desks at PBK. Ever since I mentioned getting her a desk for kindergarten, Joey has been waiting with bated breath. Chang picked up one desk and assembled it today. It was like Christmas in August. I was talking to my mom about Joey's excitement about school. She asked me if I remembered how excited I always was about the first day of school. I do--I remember lying awake at night going through the next day in my head. Who would be in class? What would my teacher be like? How excited I was about my new Hello Kitty pencil case or my new burgundy backpack. Even in college, I could never sleep before the first day of classes. I always loved getting my backpack ready, laying out my favorite new outfit, trying to figure out a new hairstyle--I get a big smile on my face just thinking about it now. I guess I should get Joey and Elysha a new outfit for the first day of school. That would make me, I mean them, so thrilled!

"That's Nice..."

That was the response from the office assistant who took Joey's kindergarten paperwork when I told her my daughter is a genius. Why didn't she take me seriously?

From the time Joey was two years old, she has begged me to buy her workbooks. So I have obliged her though I was always a little annoyed because it means that I need to sit down with her and teach her stuff. I would be more than happy if Joey was content playing with her princess dolls or something. But nope...my daughter prefers tackling math problems.

I talked to a friend whose son is almost as brilliant as Joey, and he begged his mom to let him go to Kumon. This was part of the way he could continue to advance his reading and math skills. I asked Joey if she wanted to do Kumon too and she salivated at the idea of going. So I guess that is what I need to do with her...which again is annoying because on top of the homework she will be bringing home, I'll also need to go through the Kumon workbooks with her too. Sigh...again, damn my nerd gene! I think it mutated and got stronger. Either that it is the combination of both mine and Chang's...though he keeps insisting to me that he was a jock in high school. Yeah right, and I was homecoming queen.

So Happy Together

Chang and I will have been married seven years this year, come April. Our marriage is definitely stronger today than it was when we first got married. He is my rock, my best friend, the love of my life, and really just perfect for me in so many ways. He calls me Monica (as in Geller from Friends) because I can be uptight and control freaky about things, you know, every now and then.

Chang, on the other hand, seems like Mr. Easy-going, Cool as a Cucumber, all around decent guy. And he is, except when he is not.

Case in point, painting our living room. Every time we have moved, I have been pregnant or became pregnant shortly afterward. So I have not been able to help paint until now, and therefore I am a mere novice while Chang has elevated himself to the ranks of expert. I was eager to get the room painted, because I have a schedule in my head and come hell or highwater, we are sticking to the schedule, peoples!

Me: Honey, I am going to start taping the room while Sam naps so we can get things moving.
Expert: Mmm, I don't know. Taping is a very important task. You have to do it right.
What I hear: Don't even bother. You'll just do a sloppy job and I'll have to do it all over again, because only I can do it perfectly.
What I do: Ignore him and just start taping because I want to stick to my schedule.

Me: Honey, maybe I should start priming while Sam is napping.
Expert: Mmm, I don't know. Priming is a very important task. I'll do it.
What I hear: You don't even know how to use the roller and I don't think that I trust you painting when I am not home.
What I do: Start priming because I want to stick to my schedule.

Me: Honey, maybe I can start the second coat if this first coat dries soon.
Expert: No offense Honey but the second coat is very important. I'll do it.
What I hear: This is the final stage, what people are going to see. If I'm going to have my name on this job, it has to be perfect, like me.
What I do: Go to McDonalds at 10pm and get us some goodies. Then sit on the couch and eat my fries and sundae while watching Numb3rs (I love how they use math to help solve crime. So geeky and hot!).
Expert: Why don't you do the corners while I am doing the second coat?
What I hear: Wahh, wahh, wonk
What I do: Ignore him and keep eating my fries because we are ahead of schedule and fries don't taste good when they've cooled down.

But he redeemed himself by getting me a two-pound box of See's for Valentine's Day. He's a keeper.

I Must Be Good

So you all know about my PB job. I was having a lot of fun working in the beginning and it still is fun. But then it started to get annoying because they kept scheduling me. During the holidays, they were putting me on 8 hour shifts both weekend days. Needless to say, it made me miss some holiday gatherings and family time. Now that the holidays are over and things have slowed down, I figured they would schedule me once a month, maybe twice. Nope...they keep scheduling me. It might be just four hours once a week, but we're busy these days! Birthday parties to attend, Superbowl to watch, and we want to go to on a couple more ghetto snow trips.

When I first started working there, my A.R. over-achiever self was in full gear, "Do you mind if I organize this area? All the towels are not folded the same way. Is there a broom anywhere? I noticed some lint of the floor. Is there Windex? I noticed some streaks on this glass." Plus, my general manager made the comment that if I kept selling the way I was selling (we DON'T get paid commission btw), then she was going to want me to work all the time. Then my W-2 for the year came in. I think I must have worked 500 hours and it netted about $50 in pay (minus a couple thousand in furniture and Christmas presents). So wow, it really is just not worth it.

Now, my strategy is to become a slacker employee. At least I tell myself that. But it is just no use. I'm a nerd--a sit-in-the-front-row-middle-of-the-class-and-wave-my-hands-in-the-air-yelling "I know, I know" nerd. Damn, it is hard being this perfect.