My Swan Song...

As you can tell, I haven't been posting too furiously these days. I think I might be hanging up my blogging cap for a while. It's been fun and I have enjoyed writing again. But I feel like I can barely keep up with everything else.

I toyed with not letting Sam take naps for the last few weeks because he has been staying up after we put him to bed--usually singing in his crib (today he was singing Beyonce's "Single Ladies"). Sometimes he wouldn't sleep for hours.

But the nap moratorium was painful for two reasons. One, my days were 12-13 hour days with no breaks. Two, Sam was excruciatingly grumpy because he didn't nap. Last week, however, Sam finally decided to jump out of his crib, come out of his room, and start unloading the dishwasher in the mornings--which would be fine except he often takes things out of the dishwasher and put his mouth all over it. So we moved him into his toddler bed, decked out with new Disney Car's sheets. Now that Sam knows he can exit his room whenever he wants, he has been waking up at the crack of dawn. Thanks to my brainwashing, he only wants Chang in the morning. So even though Chang has more reason to complain, I am still exhausted by the fact that Sam wakes Chang up earlier than before (cue the rolling of eyes from Chang).

These days, Sam has been a terror (yes, my sweet angel baby is the thorn in my flesh at the moment). I'm sure it is a combination of terrible two's and getting significantly less sleep than before, but I am ready to ship him off to a boarding preschool.

In August, Sam will start preschool, so long as I tackle potty training. But honestly, I am sending him in August, no matter what. I'm sure the teachers will hate me because he will have several accidents daily and he is supposed to be fully potty trained. But I am ready for freedom. I have a long laundry list of things that I want to do--finally get fit and fabulous, clean every nook and corner of my house, and meet friends in the middle of the day for cocktails. That is it--no more lofty goals of going to school or writing a book. I just want to enjoy my freedom. I am envisioning myself breaking into a song as I go along the day. Birds will come and sit on my shoulder, people around me will suddenly dance with me in a choreographed ditty. I want to get dressed every day looking like Carrie Bradshaw--no more mommy uniform for me. I am going to wear heels and carry a gorgeous purse because I finally won't have to worry about carrying diapers or a sippy cup in it. La la la laboutin! I can't wait!

So I might post pictures of my kids on occasion but this could be my swan song. The end of the school year is almost here which means I will have all three kids home with me a lot this summer. Then Elysha will be starting kindergarten, Joey will be in first grade and Sam will be going to school on the other side of town. This means, three different schedules at two different locations. It is going to be crazy and though I will finally be childless for the first time in over six years, it will really only be a couple hours every day and that includes the 90 + minutes I will be driving back and forth between the two schools. Freedom finally, yes, but just a little bit.

It's been fun and I appreciate you coming along in my journey of honest parenting. It sucks sometimes...but I still love them...especially when they are sleeping...

Happy 4-0 Baby!

I know how much Chang loves it when I shout it out from the rooftops that he is turning 40 today. That's right folks, the big 4-0. Four decades, practically half a century!!!

All kidding aside, I just wanted to write about how wonderful he is.

My dearest hubby,

Happy Birthday! I know you wanted it to be a low-key event but how could we not acknowledge you in a special way. You are the most special person I know to whom I did not give birth (cuz you know that our kids are pretty darn special too, and I give you props for your half of the gene pool).

From the moment we got together almost nine years ago, I did not want to go one day without spending it with you. I still feel this way. I look forward to the time you come home from work for many reasons--even beyond helping me out with the kids, I am just happy that you have come home to me, right where you belong. I can't imagine my life without you. You are the greatest husband, father, friend, love that I could have asked for. I know that God brought you into my life with purpose for He knew exactly whom I needed. You are compassionate, considerate, caring towards the kids and me. You are the perfect partner with whom I can laugh, cry, converse and bicker. I am so grateful because I know that I can be my dorky self with you and even though you may roll your eyes at me, you accept me just as I am.

Thank you for being the amazing man that you are. Thank you for loving me and the kids so fiercely. I look forward to spending the next forty years of your life together.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Brain Puking Blog Post

Sorry for the long silence. I'm not sure why I haven't been writing. Probably because I am still tired. The kids have been sleeping better though we still get the occasional early morning cry from Sam. I've taught Joey how to tell time so she knows to not come into our room before 7am. Elysha continues to sleep blissfully until she gets woken up. I don't know what it is but I am exhausted.

I've decided to keep the kids home with me for five weeks. If I put the kids in school all summer, it would cost over $6000 for two months. So it makes fiscal sense to have them home with me. I think I can handle it (I think I can, I think I can). I have already devised a daily morning and afternoon schedule for those five weeks in order to keep myself from freaking out. It consists of hikes, beach trips, museum trips, library trips, as well as cooking classes from Chef Mommy and Korean classes from Uhmma (just the alphabet and basic words would be awesome). If the kids and I come out of July alive but absolutely nothing accomplished, I will still consider it a success. If you hear a sudden burst of song August 2nd in the morning, it will be me singing hallelujah, the kids are all in school!

Another part of my fatigue is probably all the playdates I have been hosting. I still feel like Joey has yet to really find her groove with her friends at school. I am getting the sense that the person Joey likes the most in her class doesn't feel the same way about her. So I am trying to help Joey build stronger connections with other classmates but that means hosting two to three playdates a week. Of course, if I host one playdate for Joey, then I feel obliged to do the same for Elysha. It's such a foreign concept to me that I have to work this hard for my kids to have friends. Growing up, all of the families in our little cul-de-sac had kids around the same age. After school, we would all hang out on our street and play kick ball or ride bikes. Or I would just go over to my best friend's house who lived a couple doors down from me. There was no organization for playdates. Everyday was a playdate.

I'm sure I had homework in elementary school but I don't remember ever doing any. But everyday there is the stress of getting Joey's homework done and then practicing piano and hopefully reading a little bit. All this while trying to not completely ignore Elysha and Sam, as well as do the dishes from the day and then cook a dinner that would make Jamie Oliver proud. I think I just feel worn down from the daily routine. Not to mention Chang's upcoming birthday, and converting our office to a guest room, and an impending visit from my sister in law, and errands for my mom, and dealing with my dad.

I hope I don't sound depressed because I am not...though after writing all this I think I should be! As much as my life drives me insane, I know that I am still blessed. I have a good life and my complaints are trivial in the grand scheme of things. But I am still counting down the days until August 2! I will finally get a break and (gasp!) be on my own for the first time in almost seven years. I can't even wrap my head around the idea of it but I am sure I will get used to it really quick!

Sam's Haircut...

This isn't the first haircut Sam has gotten, but it is the first time I was there to witness. Before I would be too sad to actually watch the shears snip away at Sam's baby hair. Chang and I have a deal that no clippers will touch Sam's head. As I keep saying, I want to keep him my little baby as long as possible, and when his hair is shaved on the sides, he looks too grown up.

How many people does it take to cut one kid's hair? Answer: Three!

Looking at Daddy helps Sam keep his cool...

Ta-da! The finished product and his just reward.

Zombieland and Other Dead Things

Chang and I are looking and acting scary these days. For the last week or two (feels like forever), the kids have been waking up in the middle of the night. Not sure what is up but all I know is that we are miserably tired.

We also had a mysterious smell coming from Sam's room. We thought it was a runaway diaper so we were looking everywhere. I washed everything inside the room. Chang steam cleaned the carpets and the bathroom floor in the kids' bathroom. We were sure it was one too many potty accidents or a mystery diaper. But the smell persisted. Finally I began to wonder if something died under our house. We just put up screens on all crawl space access points under our house. Sure enough, a possum breathed its last vermin breath under our house and nature was taking its course. So gross!

So sorry for the long absence but I have been functioning on very little brain cells as lack of sleep and the toxic fumes have been killing the already limited quantity on hand.

Our Exotic Beach Getaway

We took a big trip last weekend. We went from LA County to Orange County. It was a torturous hour drive. We were all a little jetlagged but somehow managed to stay awake the first day there.

We really lucked out and had the most gorgeous weather imaginable. Mid-70's all weekend, sunny, but never hot, which worked out for the us because for about 20 hours each day, the kids wanted to play in the pool. From the moment they woke up until the sun went down and it was so cold that Sam's lips turned blue, the kids demanded pool time. We had to beg them to consider going to the beach which is something they would do daily if they could. Once we had to bribe them with ice cream to get them out of the pool. I don't have any pictures of us in the pool since I had to be in the pool too, but I did manage to get pictures of our single beach outing.

This is at Crystal Cove State Park. If you can see to the left, there are rocks all along the beach which allowed tide pools to form.

Here is Joey exploring the tide pools with me. She was so fascinated with the sea anemone, hermit crabs, mussels, and abalone shells. And thanks to Sesame Street, we already learned about habitats!

Elysha just wanted to build sand castles. The girl loves playing in the sand and can do it all day.

This is why going to the beach with three kids is a tremendous feat! They all go in different directions at the same time.

Sam loves the beach and squishing sand under his toes or running into the water.

This picture speaks for itself...

No Surrey for Sammy

I got the weekend off from my grueling PB job last weekend so we decided to go to Santa Barbara for the day. It was our first time going and the weather was perfect.

We started off with a leisurely lunch outside.

Then we decided to rent a surrey. Poor Sam wanted to drive and pedal all by himself. So he cried for 75% of our time on the surrey. I held him after a while and even then, it took him a good 15 minutes to calm down. My iron man had to pedal for all of us because having Sam in my lap and trying to pedal was like trying to bike uphill on the 10th gear. Of course, Chang didn't think I was pulling my weight anyway and said it didn't really make a difference whether I pedaled or not. So I didn't and enjoyed the ride with the kids.

We went to the zoo afterward and the best part was this tiny astroturf hill. Kids were "sledding" down the hill on cardboard scraps.

We waited about in an hour long line to ride on a 10 minute train ride.

After the zoo, we went back downtown and rode the carousel.

The girls were really sweet to each other for most of the day. We had a great time and was back home in time to put them to bed just a little past their bedtime.

What I Got for Christmas

I am married to the best husband ever. After reading my post on what I wanted for Christmas, he somehow interpreted it as a desperate cry for the boots. The very next day, he went and got these beauties for me.




The leather is so soft I want to rub it against my face (which I might have done once or twice...or more). It has the Nike Air sole so it is ridiculously comfortable. I wear them around the house underneath my pajamas and sweats because I don't have a lot of outfits that can work with the boots (hint, hint, Honey).

Just as Good as a Tissue

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I was really hoping to do some damage so I planned my outfit in order to accommodate the large intake of food on turkey day. We first took my mother in law out for lunch at a Korean BBQ place (Shik-Do-Rak). Then we were stuck in traffic forever trying to get to my cousin's. Typical SoCal traffic--it took two hours to get from point A to point B even though it should have only been an hour. It all worked out because it gave us time to digest. My cousin and his wife really went all out, ham, turkey, and all the delicious sides. Of course, what Thanksgiving meal would be complete without kalbi jjim, kimchee and other Korean sides. I ate everything--twice. Yum yum!

We hung out at my mom's for the rest of the weekend and ate some more. It was a great weekend for me as I slept a lot, ate my mom's cooking a lot, and sang karaoke a lot. We know we are extremely blessed and we are so grateful to God--happy Thanksgiving!

But back to the reason why I entitled this post, "just as good as a tissue." The girls learned how to play "Go Fish" with their cousins this weekend so when we got home, the girls wanted to play again. We were sitting on the ground playing and Sam was weaving around us playing with his toys.

Achoo! Sam turned to me and said, "nose!" I looked at him and he has this five inch booger string hanging from his nose which was smashed horizontally against his cheek. He started to move towards me and turned his head down like a rodeo bull ready to bump the tossed rider. He grabbed me by the shoulders and went in for the kill. As he got closer to my shirt, he started to turn his cheek so that he could begin the booger transfer. I was trapped. His full 30-something pound frame on was me. I tried to break free but he just wrestled me to the ground and kept trying to wipe that snotvine on me. I finally managed to pry his grip off my shoulders and I quickly jumped up.

When he knew he lost me for good, he decided to go to his plan B. He wiped the booger string with his fingers and mashed it into his hair.

The funny thing is when his nose is running, he usually grabs the bottom of his shirt and wipes his nose. I usually do this for him when we are out and I don't have a tissue handy. And there may have been one or two times when I've done this at home and I'm just too lazy to get up and get a tissue. Recently, he realized that he can wipe his nose on his shirt by himself, which is great because when he does it in public, I feign disgust.

Tonight though, he must have been inspired by Calvin and Hobbes or his dad paid him five bucks because he was determined to wipe that snot trail on me.

Who me? Dear, sweet, innocent me?

A Duet

Here's another video clip of Sam playing his guitar but this time he is accompanied by someone who is wearing the same outfit as him. Yes, it was on purpose. Yes, the big one dressed the little one and I had nothing to do with it. Yes, I make fun of the big one whenever he does it (like every week), but I secretly think it is adorable.



When Sam raises his fist after jamming on the guitar, he is looking for a standing ovation. Since Chang was too busy getting his groove on, Sam got annoyed and threw his guitar (now you can see why my lip got busted).

Monica Geller to the Rescue!

Wow! I didn't realize it has already been a week! I am in the east coast right now. Just me. Helping out my sister in law with her new baby. She and baby boy are doing great. So aside from cooking, I am helping her organize. She moved in with her hubby about two years ago and their first floor looks like they just moved in. Boxes and no furniture. The Monica Geller in me got excited at helping her get organized. We've finished the clean up, purchased furniture courtesy of my PB discount, and I am hanging up mirrors and pictures. I even got to use power tools which I haven't used in forever since Chang takes care of all those sorts of things. Let's just hope that everything doesn't fall off the walls when someone closes a door.

The in-laws have no tv and no junk food in the house. I had to buy my own chips and chocolate. I finished reading Jane Eyre last night and I am planning on reading the first two Twilight books again in anticipation of the movie. I thought I would be going through tv withdrawal but since I don't have my kids to wear me out each day, I don't need vegging time in the evenings.

I really do miss my babies though. Sam is so adorable these days and the girls have been pretty cute and less irritating ever since I implemented the 1-2-3 magic system. I'm enjoying my time off but I can't wait to get back home.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

The other day Joey and Elysha were playing horse racing in the car with their My Little Ponies. Joey pretended to be blowing past Elysha so she said, "See you later, alligator!"

So Elysha said to Joey, "See you later, hippopotamus!"

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We went to our elementary school's ice cream social for incoming kindergarteners. Joey was really excited and all day, changed her clothes, added and removed accessories, and decided she was going to wear her fancy shoes. When Chang got home from work, he put on a pair of shorts, but didn't put on a shirt since it has been blistering hot these days (we don't have any form of air conditioning so it's pretty hot inside our house). Chang was trying to corral the kids to get ready to go, so he said, "Come on, let's get going."

Joey was mortified and yelled at Chang, "Daddy put a shirt on! It's rude to go without a shirt!" Of course, Chang had every intention of putting on a shirt before we left the house. But that wasn't clear to Joey. I'm sure she was just concerned that the other kids would be jealous of her father's amazing physique.

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Sam's vocabulary continues to expand. The other day in the car he kept repeating something. I wasn't quite sure what he was saying but it sounded like he wanted something. Then we passed the Golden Arches and his repetitive cry became more emphatic.

"I want McDonald's!"

I'm too sexy for my shirt...

My Adorable Kids

I don't know what is wrong with me these days but I just think that my kids are so adorable! Maybe it is because the girls are back in school after a two week vacation. Or maybe it is because I know that I am done having more babies so I am just trying to enjoy every second of Sam's baby stages.

Sam's language development has been increasing these days. He doesn't have a lot of words but like Elysha at this age, he is learning phrases more than single words. For instance he says, "It's a drum!" Instead of just saying "drum."

Today, in the car, he called out "mama?" and when I responded to him, "Yes?" He just said, "Ummm..." then silence. Two seconds later, "Mama?" Again, I replied, "Yes?" And again, "Ummm..." Elysha does this to me all the time, but eventually, she would figure out what she really wanted to say. For Sam, however, "Ummm" is what he really wanted to say.

One phrase that he has been saying for a while is, "Mama...where are youuuuuuuuuu?" He repeats this over and over as he wonders around the house looking for me. What a sad statement about how little I actually play with him during the day that he has to go around the house calling for me.

He completely mimics the way Chang brushes his teeth. He stands on the step stool at the sink, grabs his toothbrush, brushes his teeth, turns on the sink, rinses his toothbrush, taps it on the side of the sink, put it away, grabs a cup, turns on the sink, fills the cup up with water, takes a sip and spits it out. For a while, he would drink the water, but he has finally learned to spit it out.

He also has been singing the Barney song all the time these days. "I love you, You love me." Although it sounds more like, "I oh ooo, oooo oh eeee!" At least he has the melody right...

The girls are going to be on TV (unless, they get edited out)! But we got a chance to meet Lisa Henson (Jim Henson's daughter) and the other producers and creators of a new PBS Kids show coming out this fall called the Dinosaur Train. It was kind of stressful but cool.

Same Place, Different Times

We went up to the bay area a couple weekends ago for a wedding. My old youth student whom I taught from the time she was 12 until 18, got married. It was a beautiful wedding. It was a short trip but we wanted to do some sightseeing for the girls. They really wanted to see the Golden Gate bridge. But of course, it was windy and cold at the viewing point. So after a few pictures of them with the bridge behind them, they just wanted to go back into the car.

While we were driving up, we had snacks strewn all around the car. Chips, cookies, remnants from our McDonald's lunch--I looked at our car and realized it looked like that Foster's Farm commercial with the chickens and the junk food filled car.

We also stopped in Sausalito for ice cream before heading up to Napa Valley for the wedding. I wanted to take a picture at the same place that we took a picture with just Joey when she was one month old. My how time flies!

Oh how clueless we were back then...

Now the family is complete! I know, I haven't aged at all, right? RIGHT???

Putting on a brave face in the freezing temps...

The girls loved all the flowers at the wedding, and my pashmina. I think they also took these pictures of each other.

Sam trying to get in on the action...

Bye-bye Flashy Car, Hello Minivan

I got in a car accident last week. The kids and I are fine but my car is not. It has been deemed a total loss. So I am looking into minivans. Boo...

I got my car through my now defunct Arbonne business. It was too hard to keep up my business after all my troubles while pregnant with Sam. Even though I shut down my operations, we decided to keep the car. I always felt a little sheepish in my car, except when in Beverly Hills or Brentwood. But for the most part, if people asked me what I drove (like when they're trying to identify me when I'm dropping something off), I would look down, shuffle one foot around and whisper, "a Mercedes."

But now, the thought of driving a minivan kind of makes me nauseous. I feel like I am succumbing to a necessary evil. The funny thing is Chang and I were talking about selling his car and having HIM drive the minivan. But now, the curse is upon me.

I was really shaken up by the accident. I've never been in one. I kept going through it in my head, wondering what I could have done differently. "If only, I didn't stop for coffee that day." Or, "I should have turned at a different intersection." I was mostly disturbed by worst case scenario thoughts. "What if I was going a little faster and the car had hit us where Sam was sitting?" Or "what if a mack truck had hit us?" Then, my wonderfully (and sometimes annoying) glass-is-always-half-full husband said, "I like to think that God put everything in place that allowed all of you to walk away unhurt."

So today, as I was driving through the intersection where I was hit, I felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude. Thank God that even though it was a pretty terrible accident, the children and I were completely unharmed. It really could have been so much worse. But it wasn't. In any case, I am grateful. I have another day with my beautiful and bizarre children.

#1 Dad

So Chang was amazing while I was gone. He always is so helpful and thoughtful. Apparently, Joey doesn't think so...

For Father's Day, our church gifted the fathers with a book and little trophy that says #1 Dad. We finally took it out of the car the other day and Joey put the trophy on Chang's night stand. After looking at it for a while, she turned to Chang and astutely asked,

"Why do you get a trophy if you haven't done anything?"

A Whole New World: Part 2

Everyone seems to think we are brave (or crazy) for taking three kids on a 5 1/2 hour flight to Disneyworld...especially considering we live about 30 minutes away from Disneyland. It was a good trip and I would say it was worth the trouble and expense. But by the last day, we were all ready to go home. Seven straight days of Disney magic was exhausting, even for the girls.

And now, I see a HUGE difference in boys vs. girls. I am sure it has something to do with Sam's age too, but at the same time, the girls were never this hyperactive. The girls were able to sit quietly on the plane and work on coloring books, artsy activities, and stickers. They only got out of their seats once to go to the bathroom--both ways. Sam, on the other hand, could not stay still for five seconds, let alone five hours. We should have gotten the extra seat and strapped him in. He was also suffering from a head cold so there was a lot of crying and screaming on the descent into Orlando.

We used a credit card privilege to get into the VIP airport lounge for free. It was awesome. There was a kiddie room with computers, a TV and snacks. While I was getting the free coffee, muffins and fruit in the lounge area, I sneezed and Smokey Robinson blessed me!

We used all the complimentary shuttle services that Disneyworld provides, including the Magical Express airport shuttle. They are supposed to pick up your bags from baggage claim for you and deliver it to your room within a few hours. We didn't get our bags until the next morning. Luckily I was prepared for worst case scenario with our carry-on so it wasn't too much of a hassle. When we finally got our bags the next morning, it had these priority tags on them which was amusing.

The Finding Nemo show at Animal Kingdom was amazing. The costumes were done by the same designer as the Broadway Lion King show. We managed to get reserved seating so we didn't wait in line at all and were able to get the best seats in the house. We also utilized the fast pass system extensively so we never waited more than 20 minutes for any ride.

Our little monkeys...
Sam understands what a camera is now and will smile when I take his photo. Cutie patootie, huh?
After Magic Kingdom closed, we bought the kids a souvenir each and let them run around for an hour while we let the crowd die down. Sam is getting to the age where he can interact with them more. It's very sweet to see all three of them play together.

Chang and I celebrated our seventh year anniversary while there. What a romantic way to spend the day, huh? Love you babe. I can honestly say I love you more than ever.


Our resort was right on the water. The cool thing was we could take a 10 minute boat ride to Downtown Disney.

I have no idea where they learned to pose for pictures. Look at how they both cock their heads to the side!

Sam looks more and more like "da-da" everyday. He was also super clingy to Chang during the whole trip.

We treated the girls to a Bibbity-Bobbity Boutique trip. Hair, make-up, nails, tiara and "fairy dust" sprinkled all over for the cost of a king's ransom. Yes we are suckers but it was cute and the girls loved it. Plus, we held it over their heads the whole trip in order to extract good behavior.

The Beauty and the Beast show at Hollywood Studios was a lot of fun too. The amphitheater is a mini Hollywood Bowl.
In front of the famous "Spaceship Earth" Epcot icon.


By the end of the trip, everyone was tired. Yes, that is Elysha inside the Ergo carrier.


The weather was perfect the whole time we were there. All in all, a wonderful trip. But eight days of family vacation was enough for all of us. We were all ready to get back home and out of each other's hair.

The Artist Formerly Known as... (part deux)

Yesterday, I was organizing the living room and moving around the photo albums, and I came upon something Chang made for me. It was a scrapbook Chang made for our fourth anniversary with some of the memorabilia of our relationship--greeting cards, ticket stubs, photos. It was very sweet and must have taken a lot of effort. Additionally, he printed out the emails that we sent to each other even before our relationship started.

While organizing, I started reading some of the emails and couldn't help but be amused. It was interesting to see how careful we were with our words, trying to not expose or belie our nascent emotions. We are sooo beyond that point now. I know some people miss that "honeymoon" stage, but I don't. I enjoy where Chang and I are now. It's like our physical bodies--it's matured, it's older, there might be some unexpected aches and pains, and some fat that can be trimmed. But behind the faded glory of our bodies is wisdom, understanding, depth, and purity that has been refined by fire.

Anyhow, I completely forgot that I actually wrote a couple poems for Chang. I have to say I am impressed with myself. I don't think I will ever be able to write like that again. I'm fairly certain that the poetic part of my brain was anesthetized with child rearing, and I'm not so sure I can ever recover it again.

I thought I would share something that I wrote, so that it will be preserved in cyber eternity, for prosperity's sake.

Written around May 2001, at the very beginning of our relationship.

For so long now,
I looked into the iridescent pools of other's souls,
seeking to find my own translucent reflection.
I cried out to the hollow population
hoping to hear an echo of my own desperation
somewhere from a distance.

But only perhaps.

And then you arrived, love,
Lifting the heaviness of my emptiness,
Filling me with fullness that I bear
as a mother carries her slumbering child,
his cheek pressed peacefully into her flesh.

With one gesture, you motioned me into your nakedness.
I turned away in fear
for I have never known such radiance.
Passion, I thought, must be incendiary.
But I hold your fire (evocative embers)
with both hands
without whispers
and with all my life.

Encouragement for the Jobless

I'm feeling very blessed these days. I know that we don't know what tomorrow brings but what I have learned over the years is that God is good and His mercies endure forever.

I've already shared almost dying and almost losing Sam (in utero). But as I hear about friends left and right losing their jobs, I hope to encourage people with our story...

Both Chang and I experienced job losses. For me, I was working at a dot bomb--high flying Commerce One. The company literally imploded and I was the first to be cut on my team. My boss' reasoning was LIFO (last in, first out). I accepted my fate and severance package, but thought the timing kind of sucked. Chang and I just got engaged six weeks before so I needed to find a job quickly in order to help pay for the wedding.

However, I finally had the time to think about the wedding and my female ego got the best of me. I learned calligraphy and hand addressed our invitations and place cards. I handmade a lot of stuff for the gift table, place settings, and bridal party gifts. I created tons of spreadsheets (always fun for me!). It was a blessing in disguise because by the time our wedding rolled around, I felt very prepared and was able to just enjoy the day (despite running out of gas on the way to the salon--but that is a story for another day).

And just as my severance ran dry, I got a new job. I feel that God provided for me a once in a lifetime chance to enjoy a once in a lifetime event. I had so much fun prepping for my wedding that I helped coordinate a couple friends' weddings afterwards and even considered going into it professionally.

Chang was miserable at his old firm up in the bay area. Almost daily he had run-ins with the head of his department. At first, I didn't understand how dire the situation was. But then the boss sent Chang a nasty email the day we left on our honeymoon about how disappointed he was in Chang. It made me disgusted. Fed up, Chang quietly interviewed at a firm in LA but turned down the offer because neither of us really wanted to move down to LA at that point. He decided to keep working at his firm and tried to change his attitude.

Then at his year end review in 2003, the firm decided to let him go. I was so upset because I was 36 weeks pregnant with Joey at the time! How could they do that to us, I thought! Well, it turned out to be a blessing. Chang and I were able to enjoy the first four months of our first baby's life together at home. We had so much fun and just soaked in the wonder and awe of having a baby. Then Chang got in touch with the LA firm again and they offered him the job again. So within 6 weeks time, we sold our condo and moved down to LA. And every day, Chang comes home so happy with his "new" firm and his co-workers. He no longer comes home grumpy and griping.

So both experiences didn't make sense at the time, but as we went through the days of being laid-off, it turned out to be a wonderful time to enjoy what was going on in our lives.

So Happy Together

Chang and I will have been married seven years this year, come April. Our marriage is definitely stronger today than it was when we first got married. He is my rock, my best friend, the love of my life, and really just perfect for me in so many ways. He calls me Monica (as in Geller from Friends) because I can be uptight and control freaky about things, you know, every now and then.

Chang, on the other hand, seems like Mr. Easy-going, Cool as a Cucumber, all around decent guy. And he is, except when he is not.

Case in point, painting our living room. Every time we have moved, I have been pregnant or became pregnant shortly afterward. So I have not been able to help paint until now, and therefore I am a mere novice while Chang has elevated himself to the ranks of expert. I was eager to get the room painted, because I have a schedule in my head and come hell or highwater, we are sticking to the schedule, peoples!

Me: Honey, I am going to start taping the room while Sam naps so we can get things moving.
Expert: Mmm, I don't know. Taping is a very important task. You have to do it right.
What I hear: Don't even bother. You'll just do a sloppy job and I'll have to do it all over again, because only I can do it perfectly.
What I do: Ignore him and just start taping because I want to stick to my schedule.

Me: Honey, maybe I should start priming while Sam is napping.
Expert: Mmm, I don't know. Priming is a very important task. I'll do it.
What I hear: You don't even know how to use the roller and I don't think that I trust you painting when I am not home.
What I do: Start priming because I want to stick to my schedule.

Me: Honey, maybe I can start the second coat if this first coat dries soon.
Expert: No offense Honey but the second coat is very important. I'll do it.
What I hear: This is the final stage, what people are going to see. If I'm going to have my name on this job, it has to be perfect, like me.
What I do: Go to McDonalds at 10pm and get us some goodies. Then sit on the couch and eat my fries and sundae while watching Numb3rs (I love how they use math to help solve crime. So geeky and hot!).
Expert: Why don't you do the corners while I am doing the second coat?
What I hear: Wahh, wahh, wonk
What I do: Ignore him and keep eating my fries because we are ahead of schedule and fries don't taste good when they've cooled down.

But he redeemed himself by getting me a two-pound box of See's for Valentine's Day. He's a keeper.