Elysha

I was thinking about Elysha while I was gone (I'm back now). Chang and I were laughing about how funny she is and I thought I would write about what makes her an individual person so different from Joey.

One of my all-time favorite photos--the day we brought Elysha home from the hospital, Joey was so excited.

This is when she was about six months old. Her eyes and cheeks grew the most.

And then her hair kept growing taller instead of longer...

Halloween 2006--Hard to believe that was just three years ago...

Elysha loved Sam immediately. He was two months old here and she is reading him a book.

Elysha with her precious desserts.

Happy 4th birthday...

As I said before, the only thing Elysha focuses on with any sort of tenacity is the consumption of dessert or any other treat. I guess she gets that from me. Otherwise, the girl gets distracted so easily. It takes her at least 30 minutes to put on her clothes in the morning. While I am trying to get their lunches together, feed them breakfast and put away the dishes, I'll run to the room to see what progress the girls have made in getting themselves ready. More often than not, I'll find Elysha sitting in her underwear (on a good day), playing with a toy, or reading a book, with her selected clothes strewn on the ground around her.

Me: Elysha! Get dressed!
Elysha: Huh? Oh yeah, I am getting dressed.
Me: Then put the book away.
Elysha: What book? I didn't take it out. Unni (Joey) took it out. It was already open so I was just looking at it while I was getting dressed.

I guess she gets that from her dad. She thinks she can talk her way in or out of anything. And then cocks her head and flashes her dimpled smile.

If the girl had it her way, she would be carried or strolled from point A to point B, always. We were at Legoland walking through mini-land. When we were ready to move on, I said, "Alright, let's go!" However, Chang and I couldn't see Elysha so we started to yell for her. Apparently, the moment I mentioned that we would be going to the next display, she jumped into the stroller but neither of us saw her do that. When Chang started pushing the stroller, he could feel her dead weight and turned to me and said, "where do you think she is?"

Usually when we walk anywhere and we force her to walk, she trails behind us 100 feet, as if to punish us. "If you are going to make me walk, I'm going to walk as slowly as possible." As we were leaving Legoland, Sam was squirming in the stroller so we let him get out. An unexpected opportunity! Suddenly, Elysha comes barreling out of nowhere and starts gunning toward the stroller. I swear I never saw her run so fast in her life.

I know that there are so many ways that Elysha and Joey are similar aside from their looks (we always get the "Are they twins?" question when one is clearly a head taller than the other). But we always feel like our kids are so different, and that's what makes it all so crazy and fun.

Happy 4th Birthday Elysha!

Our little Elysha is turning four this weekend! She has been waiting for this day for a very long time. When we went to Legoland in May, she was barred from a ride because she wasn't four years old. She was so devastated and Chang was peeved. He wanted to go to Legoland on her 4th birthday to make it up to her. She keeps saying that now she can ride the horsey ride at Legoland. Who knew that four years old would be such a big milestone?

We threw her a little party this year. Her first girlie party. Silvermist (the water fairy from the new Tinkerbell movie) was invited per Elysha's request. Last year's party was also in our backyard and it was the hottest day of the year. It was sweltering heat. This year it sprinkled on and off all throughout the party--not hard enough to get anyone wet, thank goodness. Plus the weather wasn't too cold so it all worked out.

In this past year, she started preschool, learned to socialize with other kids on a much larger scale and not be so dependent on Joey's company, learned her alphabet and phonics and numbers, learned to read and learned to count and add. Something changed this past year for her mentally too--it's hard to explain. Elysha was speaking in full sentences by the time she was 18 months. She was amazing. But I feel like this past year, she really understands what she is saying, is able to explain herself better, and is no longer just parroting Joey. She is really becoming her own person and I like it. She is really good at sharing her stuff and is genuinely happy for other people. She has a really big heart. We are so proud of her in so many ways and I am excited to see what this next school year is going to be like for her, being one of the older kids. She hasn't really been in this situation so I would like to see her take on a more leadership role. I feel like she is compassionate and very empathetic with others, which probably comes with the territory of being a middle child--a good plus!

When we were at my mom's house a few months ago, my mom was lying down in bed, reading. Elysha came into her room and lie down next to my mom. Then she got up and grabbed some snacks and fed my mom and herself while lying together. How sweet, right?

We love you Elysha! Thank you for being you, my considerate, compassionate, puzzle-loving, playdoh-loving, and karaoke-loving sweetheart.

Sam trying to make his moves on Silvermist.

Green Eggs and Ham and other Milestones

I just wanted to remember this stuff...

My friend was talking about doing a mother/daughter book club and I thought that only real book that Joey could possibly read is Green Eggs and Ham. So that evening I told Joey that I thought she could read it by herself. At first, she gawked at the idea. "It's too long!" But then she got excited thinking about the challenge and said enthusiastically, "Okay!"

She ran to get the book and began to read. I had to help her with a decent number of words but she did it! I was surprised that she sat there and persisted through the whole book in one sitting.
I am really proud of her and I'm sure it won't be long before she is reading Twilight.

Elysha brought home her first set of letters (red letters) that she phonetically mastered a couple of weeks ago. When it crosses my mind, I go through the letters of the next set (blue letters) because it would be nice if by the end of her first year of preschool, she knows the sounds of all the letters. I feel that since Joey is self-motivated, I don't need to worry about her as much with school work. Elysha, on the other hand, needs more attention. I am slowly realizing that I need to give it to her. I don't think it is a matter of mastery. I think it is a matter of helping her realize that she is as capable and competent as her sister. I hope this won't be the theme for the rest of their lives. Because they are so close in age, I think that Elysha thinks that there is no difference between her and Joey. So when she sees Joey excelling at something, Elysha believes that she should be able to do it to at the same level of aptitude. When she can't, she gives up.

Sam is starting to speak a little more. He says hi and bye while waving, he says nigh-nigh for bedtime and of course uhmma (mommy in Korean). He does the few sign language words that I've taught him though with milk, he just refuses. He finds it more effective to grunt and point wildly until I give him what he wants. He also appears to be saying, "what's that?" and "all done." The one word that he has definitely mastered is "uh-oh." His comprehension, on the other hand, is really good. If I tell him we are going outside, he will run to the door and grab his shoes. If I tell him to sit down so I can change his diaper, he will find a book to peruse and then plop his big bootie on the changing pad. And when I tell him that I'm going to turn on the TV, he gets all giddy with excitement, runs over to the TV and starts giggling.

Time is just flying by and because I am a planner, I am looking forward to sending Sam off to school so I can get on with my plans for myself. However, I feel like Sam is getting so big so fast, and all he has done for his first year of life is watch me run errands or organize the house or work on the computer. I have made a mental commitment to do something fun for him every morning. I have made a mental commitment to work with Elysha more on her work. I have made a mental commitment to challenge Joey more. I keep thinking it is just one day...I can work/play with the kids another day. But I don't want to keep putting them off.

So Sam and I danced together today.

The Adventures of Underdog

When I was pregnant with Sam, I told myself that Elysha was going to be my favorite. In sports, I root for the underdog (unless they're playing against the Lakers). In movies, I secretly root for the guy who inevitably doesn't get the girl. At gatherings, pre-kids, I would station myself at the food table. But the only reason why I would vacate my spot would be to talk to someone whom I felt was getting lost in the shuffle.

Knowing Elysha would have the odds against her, my heart went out to her. So I cuddle with her more, hold her when she should be walking, give in to her when I shouldn't. I just never want her to fit into the mold of a "typical middle child." I hear that phrase a lot and it disturbs me.

First of all, it is always said pejoratively. Secondly, what the hell does it mean? I feel like there are two types of middle children. One type settles into the shadows of the older sibling and looks out for the younger sibling. The other type does whatever it takes to stand out above both the younger and older sibling, and has a chip on his/her shoulder because they feel slighted as the middle child.

Elysha is so sweet to Sam. She can be mean too, but she really looks after him. Sometimes I feel like Joey is always trying to prove to me that she can take care of Sam but flits off and does her own thing. But Elysha is always aware of him, and if he is about to get into what she perceives to be a dangerous situation, she freaks out and screams for me to get Sam. Like the other day, we were at an old neighbor's home who has cats. Sam was crawling after one of the cats and Elysha grabbed Sam by the waist and tried to keep him away from the cats, practically in tears for fear of Sam.

At school, Elysha just clings to Joey. Whenever I talk to her about playing with friends her age, she always responds to me with a rote answer, "I just want to play with my sister." I was afraid that this would happen and looked into sending Elysha to a different school. But the convenience and the cost got the better of me and I decided to send them together. I kind of regret it because I don't want Elysha to feel that her identity to tied to Joey. She was thriving at the transition program she attended for a few months, and now, I feel like she is just a shadow.

Elysha is definitely my most challenging child with her tantrums, stubbornness and temper. But she is also my sweetest, cuddliest, silliest child. I just hope that she will let her own star shine, but retain her caring disposition.