Parent Teacher Conferences for Fall 2009

We went through another round of parent teacher conferences for the girls. It is interesting to hear their teachers' perspectives, especially as the girls get older. I see how their personalities are becoming more defined. And of course, because I like to overanalyze everything, I think about what this means for their future in terms of academics, social development, sibling dynamics, etc. (This post is boring but I want to remember what the teachers said and my reflections of the girls upon hearing the teachers' observations--sorry!)

Joey has been doing really well in kindergarten. It took her a while to get comfortable with the other kids. Her teacher said that for the first few weeks, she wouldn't go outside and interact with the other kids. She would come back into the classroom and ask to help her teacher. I was very eager to help her make friends so I organized a playdate with a girl who Joey mentioned was nice to her. Suddenly, I had other girls' moms asking for playdates with Joey and now Joey has her group of friends. Yay! The teacher also mentioned that Joey is well liked by her classmates and gets along with them.

The teacher gave us a list of skills that kindergarteners need to master by the end of the year. Out of the list of 21 skills, Joey has two that she hasn't mastered. She couldn't read 5 of the 54 "sight words" and she needs to improve in her spelling when writing. The teacher was saying that she was hoping that Joey would take on a leadership role in the class but Joey is hesitant to be in the spotlight. That sounds about right. Even when Joey was two years old, she always hated being the center of attention in a large group setting. Among friends and family, she's comfortable--but bring in just one or two strangers, forget it. That's like me now, but I think as a kid, I was a lot more outgoing.

I'm really happy that we decided to start her off in kindergarten. The kids learn a lot of the culture, work ethics, and teacher expectations in kindergarten. While Joey would probably have fared decently in first grade, we are on a much more gradual learning curve. I've been supplementing her homework since it is so basic which has been forcing me to become more involved in their academic development. Darn--I guess I could only hold off for so long. And I guess that nerd gene is alive and well in me too. One thing I am loving is Joey's piano lessons. I am learning how to read music which I never learned to do in my 20 years of piano lessons.

Elysha is so different from Joey. They are both smart. But Joey has this innate desire to please others. Elysha could not care less. This is her teacher's observation. This is the same preschool teacher that Joey had so she was also marveling at how different the two girls are.

What cracks me up about Elysha is that she doesn't seem engaged while a teacher or parent is speaking (okay, cracks me up when it is someone else, really irritates me when it is me that she is rolling her eyes at). She doesn't appear to listen to you when she is talking but she gets it. She's definitely not a teacher's pet, but thankfully, she isn't a problem student either. She's going to be one of those kids who doodles on her notes in class and listens to music while studying but will perform just as well as the student who takes copious notes. She won't be gunning for extra credit, though, that is for sure.

Elysha doesn't challenge herself and would be happy to draw all day. But when her teacher asks her to do something, she is compliant. Elysha's reading has improved dramatically within the last two weeks. Things finally clicked for her and she is able to read the BOB books with no problem. She's at that stage where she is trying to read everything around her.

Elysha has no problems being the leader and speaking in front of the class. Now that she is one of the older children at her preschool, she has taken on a leadership role--she likes to help the younger kids but also likes to keep up with the kindergarteners. I don't know that she "competes" with Joey so much as she uses Joey as a pacemaker. She wants to keep up--Elysha gets upset when she can't do things as well as Joey--but we just keep reminding her that when Joey was her age, she could not do x,y,z either. Elysha used to get really upset but I think she is understanding better that it is a process.

We talked about Sam entering preschool next summer. He just seems so young compared to the girls at his age. I wonder how much of it is gender/personality vs. me coddling him. I wonder if he will be ready next summer and as excited as I am to finally be able to pee without Sam playing with his cars along the bathtub, I really wonder if I will be ready next summer to let him go. You would think that I would be singing from the rooftops "Freedom!" But a part of me thinks that I will be crying while I am getting a pedicure (because I will be finally taking care of myself after almost seven years of letting myself go to pot).

Elysha

I was thinking about Elysha while I was gone (I'm back now). Chang and I were laughing about how funny she is and I thought I would write about what makes her an individual person so different from Joey.

One of my all-time favorite photos--the day we brought Elysha home from the hospital, Joey was so excited.

This is when she was about six months old. Her eyes and cheeks grew the most.

And then her hair kept growing taller instead of longer...

Halloween 2006--Hard to believe that was just three years ago...

Elysha loved Sam immediately. He was two months old here and she is reading him a book.

Elysha with her precious desserts.

Happy 4th birthday...

As I said before, the only thing Elysha focuses on with any sort of tenacity is the consumption of dessert or any other treat. I guess she gets that from me. Otherwise, the girl gets distracted so easily. It takes her at least 30 minutes to put on her clothes in the morning. While I am trying to get their lunches together, feed them breakfast and put away the dishes, I'll run to the room to see what progress the girls have made in getting themselves ready. More often than not, I'll find Elysha sitting in her underwear (on a good day), playing with a toy, or reading a book, with her selected clothes strewn on the ground around her.

Me: Elysha! Get dressed!
Elysha: Huh? Oh yeah, I am getting dressed.
Me: Then put the book away.
Elysha: What book? I didn't take it out. Unni (Joey) took it out. It was already open so I was just looking at it while I was getting dressed.

I guess she gets that from her dad. She thinks she can talk her way in or out of anything. And then cocks her head and flashes her dimpled smile.

If the girl had it her way, she would be carried or strolled from point A to point B, always. We were at Legoland walking through mini-land. When we were ready to move on, I said, "Alright, let's go!" However, Chang and I couldn't see Elysha so we started to yell for her. Apparently, the moment I mentioned that we would be going to the next display, she jumped into the stroller but neither of us saw her do that. When Chang started pushing the stroller, he could feel her dead weight and turned to me and said, "where do you think she is?"

Usually when we walk anywhere and we force her to walk, she trails behind us 100 feet, as if to punish us. "If you are going to make me walk, I'm going to walk as slowly as possible." As we were leaving Legoland, Sam was squirming in the stroller so we let him get out. An unexpected opportunity! Suddenly, Elysha comes barreling out of nowhere and starts gunning toward the stroller. I swear I never saw her run so fast in her life.

I know that there are so many ways that Elysha and Joey are similar aside from their looks (we always get the "Are they twins?" question when one is clearly a head taller than the other). But we always feel like our kids are so different, and that's what makes it all so crazy and fun.

Off to Boston

Baby BFF was born this morning after 24 hours of labor, 3.5 hours of pushing and an eventual c-section. Looks like I'll be going back and forth from the hospital a lot while I am there--in addition to seeing my nephew, and hanging out with the new mommy, I will be very close to my old stomping grounds of my college. I fell in love with the campus while I was there, and miss it as much as I miss my old friends.

I am afraid that everything is going to fall apart at home while I am gone. It is silly since Chang is such a capable person and two of my aunts are going to be here to help out. But I've done all the laundry for the week, paid all the bills, and bought nutritious lunchables so Chang can just dump and go in the morning. I know it's going to be fine and the kids will be fine, but I actually am sad to go and leave my family behind for so long.

I haven't told the girls yet that I am leaving because I was afraid that everyday they would ask me about it and the anticipation would be worse than the actual departure. But Joey overheard me talking about it and so casually asked me about the trip. The girls clung onto me last night when we were putting them to sleep when I told them that I would be leaving "soon" but not in a panicky way--more in a "I'm really going to miss you but go have fun because we'll be alright so don't worry about us" way.

Do you ever just look at your kids and realize that they are older today than they were yesterday? You know, something about the way they are carrying themselves or talking is slightly different? That's what I've been noticing about the kids. Sam is just hilarious and crazy as usual. Elysha just amazes me with her comprehension and her love for her siblings. Joey just keeps maturing by leaps and bounds. She has been helping me with dinner, setting the table, cleaning up, taking care of her younger siblings. Something changed in her overnight and suddenly, she has become extremely mature.

Oh and Sam pooped in the potty on Friday! He isn't anywhere near being potty trained but he seems to understand more than before.

Wearing Naeng Myun

Afternoon tea on our new outdoor furniture, courtesy of PBK.

On Joey's preschool graduation day

Happy 4th Birthday Elysha!

Our little Elysha is turning four this weekend! She has been waiting for this day for a very long time. When we went to Legoland in May, she was barred from a ride because she wasn't four years old. She was so devastated and Chang was peeved. He wanted to go to Legoland on her 4th birthday to make it up to her. She keeps saying that now she can ride the horsey ride at Legoland. Who knew that four years old would be such a big milestone?

We threw her a little party this year. Her first girlie party. Silvermist (the water fairy from the new Tinkerbell movie) was invited per Elysha's request. Last year's party was also in our backyard and it was the hottest day of the year. It was sweltering heat. This year it sprinkled on and off all throughout the party--not hard enough to get anyone wet, thank goodness. Plus the weather wasn't too cold so it all worked out.

In this past year, she started preschool, learned to socialize with other kids on a much larger scale and not be so dependent on Joey's company, learned her alphabet and phonics and numbers, learned to read and learned to count and add. Something changed this past year for her mentally too--it's hard to explain. Elysha was speaking in full sentences by the time she was 18 months. She was amazing. But I feel like this past year, she really understands what she is saying, is able to explain herself better, and is no longer just parroting Joey. She is really becoming her own person and I like it. She is really good at sharing her stuff and is genuinely happy for other people. She has a really big heart. We are so proud of her in so many ways and I am excited to see what this next school year is going to be like for her, being one of the older kids. She hasn't really been in this situation so I would like to see her take on a more leadership role. I feel like she is compassionate and very empathetic with others, which probably comes with the territory of being a middle child--a good plus!

When we were at my mom's house a few months ago, my mom was lying down in bed, reading. Elysha came into her room and lie down next to my mom. Then she got up and grabbed some snacks and fed my mom and herself while lying together. How sweet, right?

We love you Elysha! Thank you for being you, my considerate, compassionate, puzzle-loving, playdoh-loving, and karaoke-loving sweetheart.

Sam trying to make his moves on Silvermist.

Sam is 18 months!

So hard to believe he is one and a half. He is 75% in weight and height. And just becoming more and more of a handful. Still determined to be the youngest rock star ever. I guess he is working on the complete package with the rock star/troubled youth thing.

He is determined to do EVERYTHING on his own and I am inclined to let him. As far as I am concerned, the more independent, the better. If I can't hold him all day long, then I would rather he be able to take care of himself. He feeds himself for the most part (I just need to teach him how to use the microwave). The other day, he zippered up his pj's by himself.



We started the cloth diapers but the soggy, wet diaper doesn't seem to bother him at all. I have been sitting him on the potty every now and then, but nothing. He was about to poop so I got him on the toilet, and he held it in and got constipated. So obviously he has the muscle control. I think using the potty is just too strange of a concept for him. At some point, I will get serious about it. The cloth diapers are going well so far, so I am glad we made the switch.

His language development is great considering he hasn't learned to say no or mine yet. He hasn't learned to say much at all, but as long as he isn't saying those two words, it doesn't bother me. If anything, the first phrase he is going to learn to say (because he hears it all the time), "Oh my gosh, you are just crazy!" What really blows my mind is Elysha was speaking in full sentences by this time. I have a voicemail on my cell phone where she is saying, "I love you. I miss you. Come home soon." She was 19 months at the time. Sam says, "eeoo" for Elmo and "puh-puh" for poo-poo. I think I might be the only person who understands the ten words he has right now. Except "dah-dah" which he yells out constantly in the morning so that Chang will get him when he wakes up. It's great!

Warm and Fuzzy--that's Me!

One thing I love about being a mom is that I get to cuddle with my kids. (I know, I am not usually sappy on my blog, so excuse this deviation.)

Because of stuff from my childhood, I became a bit stiff around people that I didn't know. As Chang likes to say, I was a cold fish. I wasn't one to hug people, shake hands, make eye contact, acknowledge your existence. I was a guarded person and didn't like to be touched. Yup, the life of the party, that was me...if life of the party means hovering over the food table the whole time, that was me.

But becoming a mom changes all that. There is no such thing as personal space with kids. They are hovering inches away from you all day, if not actually hanging onto you. Yes, it gets annoying. But I know I will miss the day that Sam doesn't want me to smother him with kisses, when Elysha doesn't smash her face against mine in bed so that we both don't have to wake up, when Joey stops rubbing my eyebrows when she is upset or tired. I hope that a day doesn't go by when I don't kiss my kids more times than I can count on my fingers, or when I don't scoop them up in my arms, sit them in my lap, and squeeze them against my body and tell them that I love them.

Now that I have my cuddle bunnies, I have become a warm and fuzzy person with other people too. I know that I am still not little Miss Sunshine, but hopefully, people won't still use terms like "cold fish" and "a nut that you have to crack" to describe me anymore.

Scaredy Cat vs. Copy Cat

We were invited to a birthday party the other day. It was at a movie theatre and they were going to show Monsters vs. Aliens for all the party goers. It was a cute idea but the moment Joey saw the invitation, she started to freak out. (If I haven't mentioned it before, Joey is the biggest scaredy cat.) I tried to help her see how silly the monsters looked and convinced her it would be fun to go. She started to laugh and agreed that it would fun. I don't know why I thought that would be the end of it.

So the day of the party, the girls and I go to the theatre. They are both so excited to be in the theatre and to see their friends. Once it is time to start the movie, they all get their little bags of popcorn and don their 3D glasses. Joey is sitting between her two closest friends and Elysha is sitting next to me. My little Elysha is such a beanpole that she kept slipping through the back of the seat. So she had to sit up straight and not lean back. But as long as she had her bag of popcorn, she was good.

Everyone was watching the movie, having a great time. I thought the scene where the president tries to greet the aliens with the synthesizer was hilarious. But suddenly, I heard loud whimpering. I hoped that if I ignored it, it would go away. Unfortunately, Joey's little friends started to whisper loudly, "Joey's scared." Darn, other people noticed too. So I tried to be a good parent and motioned Joey to me. She was sitting on my lap, whimpering and whispering that she was scared. Elysha appeared to be unfazed by Joey's crying and continued eating her popcorn and watching the movie through her 3D glasses. I wanted to finish the movie so I tried to reason with Joey, but then the aliens started shooting at the humans. Joey freaked out even more and I realized that she was done. So I turned to perfectly content Elysha and whispered that her sister was scared so I needed to take her out. I gave her two options, to either stay and finish the movie, or come out with us. When Elysha saw Joey crying, suddenly, Elysha decided she was freaked out too and started crying as well. "I'm scared! I'm scared!" (If I haven't mentioned it before, Elsyha is the biggest copy cat.)

Green Eggs and Ham and other Milestones

I just wanted to remember this stuff...

My friend was talking about doing a mother/daughter book club and I thought that only real book that Joey could possibly read is Green Eggs and Ham. So that evening I told Joey that I thought she could read it by herself. At first, she gawked at the idea. "It's too long!" But then she got excited thinking about the challenge and said enthusiastically, "Okay!"

She ran to get the book and began to read. I had to help her with a decent number of words but she did it! I was surprised that she sat there and persisted through the whole book in one sitting.
I am really proud of her and I'm sure it won't be long before she is reading Twilight.

Elysha brought home her first set of letters (red letters) that she phonetically mastered a couple of weeks ago. When it crosses my mind, I go through the letters of the next set (blue letters) because it would be nice if by the end of her first year of preschool, she knows the sounds of all the letters. I feel that since Joey is self-motivated, I don't need to worry about her as much with school work. Elysha, on the other hand, needs more attention. I am slowly realizing that I need to give it to her. I don't think it is a matter of mastery. I think it is a matter of helping her realize that she is as capable and competent as her sister. I hope this won't be the theme for the rest of their lives. Because they are so close in age, I think that Elysha thinks that there is no difference between her and Joey. So when she sees Joey excelling at something, Elysha believes that she should be able to do it to at the same level of aptitude. When she can't, she gives up.

Sam is starting to speak a little more. He says hi and bye while waving, he says nigh-nigh for bedtime and of course uhmma (mommy in Korean). He does the few sign language words that I've taught him though with milk, he just refuses. He finds it more effective to grunt and point wildly until I give him what he wants. He also appears to be saying, "what's that?" and "all done." The one word that he has definitely mastered is "uh-oh." His comprehension, on the other hand, is really good. If I tell him we are going outside, he will run to the door and grab his shoes. If I tell him to sit down so I can change his diaper, he will find a book to peruse and then plop his big bootie on the changing pad. And when I tell him that I'm going to turn on the TV, he gets all giddy with excitement, runs over to the TV and starts giggling.

Time is just flying by and because I am a planner, I am looking forward to sending Sam off to school so I can get on with my plans for myself. However, I feel like Sam is getting so big so fast, and all he has done for his first year of life is watch me run errands or organize the house or work on the computer. I have made a mental commitment to do something fun for him every morning. I have made a mental commitment to work with Elysha more on her work. I have made a mental commitment to challenge Joey more. I keep thinking it is just one day...I can work/play with the kids another day. But I don't want to keep putting them off.

So Sam and I danced together today.

The Unforgiven

The girls were driving us crazy this morning. Why do my kids pretend to not hear me? I know that the parenting books tell you to get down to their level and talk to them. But seriously, while I am getting their stuff together, getting dressed, changing Sam, and cleaning up, I am supposed to go over to where they are, get down on my knees and ask them in a normal voice, "Girls? We have to get going in a few minutes. Can you please get your shoes on?" Yeah, right. It is more like, "Get your shoes on now and don't make me tell you twice!"

And of course, when the kids are asking me for something, it is rapid-fire. "Can I have juice?" One second later..."Moooom, CAN I HAVE SOME JUICE?" One second later..."CAAAN III HAAAVE SOMMME JUUUICE!!!" Usually, within those five seconds, I am thinking, well, how much milk have they had today? Will it spoil their upcoming meal? Have they had other sweets today? But by the third time I have heard their demand, I get fed up and just say no...and quit whining, you're driving me crazy!

Anyhow, this morning the girls were misbehaving, Chang was sick so he got back into bed after taking care of the kids in the morning. I was trying to get them ready for a birthday party and it just was not happening. I got fed up and took away birthday cake from them. Because the cake wasn't right in front of them at the time, they were acting nonchalant. At the party however, when they couldn't have cake, they were no longer playing cool. Joey got mopey but understood that it was punishment for her own behavior. So though she was frowning, we talked, I told her I loved her and she accepted the situation. Elysha, on the other hand, was not having it. She was sitting on the couch at the party, very sullen and upset. I was talking to Joey and didn't notice initially. But then the mom of the birthday boy came up to me and asked if Elysha was okay. I looked over at her. Her arms were crossed so tightly that her hands practically met behind her back. Her lips were so pouty that she could have passed for an Asian Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. I tried to cuddle with her but nope, she was mad! After a few attempts to hold her, she walked away to find her sister with whom she could commiserate.

I promised the girls last night that we could make chocolate dipped strawberries so after their nap today, we made some. I think Elysha has forgiven me now.

So Happy Together

Chang and I will have been married seven years this year, come April. Our marriage is definitely stronger today than it was when we first got married. He is my rock, my best friend, the love of my life, and really just perfect for me in so many ways. He calls me Monica (as in Geller from Friends) because I can be uptight and control freaky about things, you know, every now and then.

Chang, on the other hand, seems like Mr. Easy-going, Cool as a Cucumber, all around decent guy. And he is, except when he is not.

Case in point, painting our living room. Every time we have moved, I have been pregnant or became pregnant shortly afterward. So I have not been able to help paint until now, and therefore I am a mere novice while Chang has elevated himself to the ranks of expert. I was eager to get the room painted, because I have a schedule in my head and come hell or highwater, we are sticking to the schedule, peoples!

Me: Honey, I am going to start taping the room while Sam naps so we can get things moving.
Expert: Mmm, I don't know. Taping is a very important task. You have to do it right.
What I hear: Don't even bother. You'll just do a sloppy job and I'll have to do it all over again, because only I can do it perfectly.
What I do: Ignore him and just start taping because I want to stick to my schedule.

Me: Honey, maybe I should start priming while Sam is napping.
Expert: Mmm, I don't know. Priming is a very important task. I'll do it.
What I hear: You don't even know how to use the roller and I don't think that I trust you painting when I am not home.
What I do: Start priming because I want to stick to my schedule.

Me: Honey, maybe I can start the second coat if this first coat dries soon.
Expert: No offense Honey but the second coat is very important. I'll do it.
What I hear: This is the final stage, what people are going to see. If I'm going to have my name on this job, it has to be perfect, like me.
What I do: Go to McDonalds at 10pm and get us some goodies. Then sit on the couch and eat my fries and sundae while watching Numb3rs (I love how they use math to help solve crime. So geeky and hot!).
Expert: Why don't you do the corners while I am doing the second coat?
What I hear: Wahh, wahh, wonk
What I do: Ignore him and keep eating my fries because we are ahead of schedule and fries don't taste good when they've cooled down.

But he redeemed himself by getting me a two-pound box of See's for Valentine's Day. He's a keeper.

Living the Good Life

Chang and I went out on another date night the other night. We watched Slumdog Millionaire. I had no idea what the movie was about and we were about 15 minutes late going into it, so I was a little lost in the beginning. But it sucks you in immediately. Both Chang and I think it is one of the best movies we have seen in a long time. During and at the end of the movie, I got very choked up. The movie is about two brothers who grew up orphaned in the slums of India, and then were taken in by a gangster who took homeless children under his wing and forced them to beg for him.

There were some disturbing scenes and all the while, I couldn't help but think of my kids. They are truly living the good life. Chang and I have talked about the lack of struggles our kids will experience by not being children of immigrant parents, by not growing up poor, by not being forced to do manual labor to help the family business. It is not that I want my children to suffer, but there is a part of me that worries about them. I mean, come on...they have the perfect parents (natch), they live in a house in LA, they want of nothing...this is why I am so hard on them. Yup, if life circumstances do not cause them to suffer, then I, as their thoughtful mother, see it as my duty to be a tiny bit hard, impatient, snarly. When, in the future after years of therapy, they overcome their embittered childhood memories, they will thank me for not spoiling them with loving-kindness and understanding. Life has to suck, one way or another, in order to grow up grounded, you know?

In other news, Sam is becoming a bear to handle. That willfulness is kicking in like a toddler high on chocolate milk and gummy bears. When he doesn't want to eat something anymore, he squeals and tosses it from the high chair, or spits it out if it is already in his mouth. Like Elysha when she was this age, he throws himself to the ground when he is upset. Man, I thought I got lucky with this child, but that crazy gene that all my kids possess must have just been dormant in him.

Teacher's (and Mommy's) Pet

It's funny to see how much Joey is my little mini-me. Aside from the whining and complaining which I never do (ehem), she resembles me in so many ways.

Joey's Sunday school teacher called us to tell us how wonderful she was in class the other day. She was telling us that when she asked the class to help her clean up, all the other kids said they didn't want to, but Joey got up and helped put away the art supplies. Awww!!! Elysha's teacher tells me that she is her little helper too. I am so proud of them. I guess, despite all my best efforts, my children may not be turning out so bad after all.

The girls were doodling yesterday while I was getting dinner ready and they wanted their scissors. I was only able to find Elysha's and I asked Joey where her scissors were. She told me that I had taken them away from her a long time ago. She then proceeded to tell me exactly where I had put them. High up on top of the bookcase, completely out of sight from her. Joey's memory is just amazing. I took her scissors away from her during the summer because she was cutting her shirt. I completely forgot that I had done that. My BFF always calls me her elephant friend because of my amazing memory...which has all gone to pot now that I have three kids. But back in the day, I never forgot a name, I never wrote down my schedule, and if I wrote down an address once, I could recall it from memory. I hardly even used speed dialing because I had all my friends' phone numbers memorized. Unfortunately, now, I have to write notes on my forehead backwards so that when I look in the mirror, I am reminded to brush my teeth. Elysha essentially resembles me today. I don't know if it is that she doesn't listen, doesn't understand, or just doesn't care. Whatever it is, she doesn't remember a thing.

I made steaks, broccoli and mashed potato for dinner the other night, and Joey was elated that we were eating mashed potatoes. She declared it was her favorite (just as it was mine when I was a child). She was very excited and when I put it on her plate, she ate a few bites. She then proceeded to eat her meat and broccoli, and took little forkfuls of her potatoes in between bites. I asked her why she wasn't eating her potatoes. She said she was saving it for the end. I do the same thing! It must be genetic. When Chang and I started dating, we were eating something together (of course I don't remember anymore), and I was saving my favorite bite for the very end. Assuming I didn't want it, he popped it into his mouth, without even asking. I started screaming at him and completely lost it. Needless to say, he NEVER made that mistake again.

Is it nature or nurture that causes a child to be so much like his or her parent? Seeing that Joey is so much like me, Elysha must get her personality from Chang. I see a lot of her in him...aside from her tenacity (aka stubbornness), which we like to argue comes from the other parent, she is generally easy-going and happy. I guess Chang can write about her similarities to him sometime. It is funny because Elysha looks like Chang and Joey looks like me. I wonder what Sam is going to be like...