Back in the Saddle?

I've been thinking about writing again. Now that I have my wonderful iPhone (no, they are not paying me for the plug), I feel like I should try to be more productive. Aside from raising the kids, caring for our puppy, working a small part-time job, running two school fundraising programs, volunteering multiple times each week in the girls' classrooms, cooking, cleaning, exercising (running a 10k tomorrow!), I feel like I could be doing more. It's shameful that I squander away my spare time each day having bowel movements or sitting down to eat a meal for 15 minutes. So maybe in those small pockets of extra time, like when I am waiting for a signal light to change or while I am taking the dog for a walk, I will try to whip up a humorous, didactic, uplifting blog post. And if I can learn to type with my toes, I should be able to write the next Twilight series.

My Swan Song...

As you can tell, I haven't been posting too furiously these days. I think I might be hanging up my blogging cap for a while. It's been fun and I have enjoyed writing again. But I feel like I can barely keep up with everything else.

I toyed with not letting Sam take naps for the last few weeks because he has been staying up after we put him to bed--usually singing in his crib (today he was singing Beyonce's "Single Ladies"). Sometimes he wouldn't sleep for hours.

But the nap moratorium was painful for two reasons. One, my days were 12-13 hour days with no breaks. Two, Sam was excruciatingly grumpy because he didn't nap. Last week, however, Sam finally decided to jump out of his crib, come out of his room, and start unloading the dishwasher in the mornings--which would be fine except he often takes things out of the dishwasher and put his mouth all over it. So we moved him into his toddler bed, decked out with new Disney Car's sheets. Now that Sam knows he can exit his room whenever he wants, he has been waking up at the crack of dawn. Thanks to my brainwashing, he only wants Chang in the morning. So even though Chang has more reason to complain, I am still exhausted by the fact that Sam wakes Chang up earlier than before (cue the rolling of eyes from Chang).

These days, Sam has been a terror (yes, my sweet angel baby is the thorn in my flesh at the moment). I'm sure it is a combination of terrible two's and getting significantly less sleep than before, but I am ready to ship him off to a boarding preschool.

In August, Sam will start preschool, so long as I tackle potty training. But honestly, I am sending him in August, no matter what. I'm sure the teachers will hate me because he will have several accidents daily and he is supposed to be fully potty trained. But I am ready for freedom. I have a long laundry list of things that I want to do--finally get fit and fabulous, clean every nook and corner of my house, and meet friends in the middle of the day for cocktails. That is it--no more lofty goals of going to school or writing a book. I just want to enjoy my freedom. I am envisioning myself breaking into a song as I go along the day. Birds will come and sit on my shoulder, people around me will suddenly dance with me in a choreographed ditty. I want to get dressed every day looking like Carrie Bradshaw--no more mommy uniform for me. I am going to wear heels and carry a gorgeous purse because I finally won't have to worry about carrying diapers or a sippy cup in it. La la la laboutin! I can't wait!

So I might post pictures of my kids on occasion but this could be my swan song. The end of the school year is almost here which means I will have all three kids home with me a lot this summer. Then Elysha will be starting kindergarten, Joey will be in first grade and Sam will be going to school on the other side of town. This means, three different schedules at two different locations. It is going to be crazy and though I will finally be childless for the first time in over six years, it will really only be a couple hours every day and that includes the 90 + minutes I will be driving back and forth between the two schools. Freedom finally, yes, but just a little bit.

It's been fun and I appreciate you coming along in my journey of honest parenting. It sucks sometimes...but I still love them...especially when they are sleeping...

10 Things I Can Live Without...

1) "I'm DONE!!!" announcements coming from the bathroom, implying that whichever child is sitting on the toilet is expecting me to wipe their butt.
2) Going to the bathroom and seeing that a bowel movement was not flushed. It makes me wonder what else was not done after neglecting to flush...
3) Potty Training. Do I really need to go through this torture yet again to be diaper-free for the first time in over six years?
4) Slaving over a hot stove for dinner and then hearing, "Yucky!" It makes me want to serve liver and brussel sprouts for ten days consecutively (I'll give you yucky...).
5) Everyone else getting sick every time one of the kids getting sick.
6) Me getting sick every time everyone else is sick because I don't get any sick days.
7) People giving me the eye when I say I want a margarita at 9 o'clock in the morning.
8) People giving me the eye when I get a margarita at 10 o'clock in the morning.
9) Having to wake up in the middle of the night because Sam is screaming that he can't find his blankie (usually he's lying on top of it but doesn't realize it).
10) Fighting (Elysha told me today that for Mother's Day, she was going to be nice to Joey and not fight with her. "Just for that one day," she said so proudly...can't wait!).

Brain Puking Blog Post

Sorry for the long silence. I'm not sure why I haven't been writing. Probably because I am still tired. The kids have been sleeping better though we still get the occasional early morning cry from Sam. I've taught Joey how to tell time so she knows to not come into our room before 7am. Elysha continues to sleep blissfully until she gets woken up. I don't know what it is but I am exhausted.

I've decided to keep the kids home with me for five weeks. If I put the kids in school all summer, it would cost over $6000 for two months. So it makes fiscal sense to have them home with me. I think I can handle it (I think I can, I think I can). I have already devised a daily morning and afternoon schedule for those five weeks in order to keep myself from freaking out. It consists of hikes, beach trips, museum trips, library trips, as well as cooking classes from Chef Mommy and Korean classes from Uhmma (just the alphabet and basic words would be awesome). If the kids and I come out of July alive but absolutely nothing accomplished, I will still consider it a success. If you hear a sudden burst of song August 2nd in the morning, it will be me singing hallelujah, the kids are all in school!

Another part of my fatigue is probably all the playdates I have been hosting. I still feel like Joey has yet to really find her groove with her friends at school. I am getting the sense that the person Joey likes the most in her class doesn't feel the same way about her. So I am trying to help Joey build stronger connections with other classmates but that means hosting two to three playdates a week. Of course, if I host one playdate for Joey, then I feel obliged to do the same for Elysha. It's such a foreign concept to me that I have to work this hard for my kids to have friends. Growing up, all of the families in our little cul-de-sac had kids around the same age. After school, we would all hang out on our street and play kick ball or ride bikes. Or I would just go over to my best friend's house who lived a couple doors down from me. There was no organization for playdates. Everyday was a playdate.

I'm sure I had homework in elementary school but I don't remember ever doing any. But everyday there is the stress of getting Joey's homework done and then practicing piano and hopefully reading a little bit. All this while trying to not completely ignore Elysha and Sam, as well as do the dishes from the day and then cook a dinner that would make Jamie Oliver proud. I think I just feel worn down from the daily routine. Not to mention Chang's upcoming birthday, and converting our office to a guest room, and an impending visit from my sister in law, and errands for my mom, and dealing with my dad.

I hope I don't sound depressed because I am not...though after writing all this I think I should be! As much as my life drives me insane, I know that I am still blessed. I have a good life and my complaints are trivial in the grand scheme of things. But I am still counting down the days until August 2! I will finally get a break and (gasp!) be on my own for the first time in almost seven years. I can't even wrap my head around the idea of it but I am sure I will get used to it really quick!

A Spamtacular Mistake

So I am guilty of emotional eating. I eat my favorite ice cream (B&J's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch) practically every night as a means to treat myself after a grueling day with the kids.

Despite the torrential downfall of rain, I still had to run my usual errands, one of them being Costco. I have to say, it really sucked. I didn't strap Sam in because the safety belt was soaking wet. So the whole time, I was trying to keep him from taking a flying leap from the cart. Finally, I put him in the back part of the cart and he happily beat on the boxes of pull-ups like drums.

When I was at the checkout line, the guy who loads up the carts asked me to put Sam into the front part of the cart. He might as well have asked me to conjure up a two headed snake out of thin air. Both were impossible tasks, and the whole time they were ringing me up, I was wrestling a screaming Sam, trying to cram his feet through the leg openings of the front part of the cart. After the sadistic cart-loading guy watched me attempt mission impossible, he told me it was okay and let Sam stay in the back while he loaded up the cart. When I got outside, the rain was pouring down. I let Sam hold the umbrella while I tried to run and push the stroller. Sam thought it would be funny to hold the umbrella upside down so it would catch the rain more than repel it. Yeah, not very funny.

By the time we were on our way home, I was already done for the day, and it was only 11:30 am. I was soaked with rain and self-pity, so I drove to the nearby In-N-Out and ordered a cheeseburger (animal style), fries and a chocolate shake. I totally deserved it, right?

Well, that night, I lost it again. I mean, really lost it. So after we put the kids to bed, I made myself S'mores. It hit the spot and the world was good again.

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Do you ever get a craving for something and that desire to eat it just simply won't go away? Well, I have had a hankering for Spam for weeks now. Probably due to this blog post. Clearly, Spam is not the healthiest thing to eat and honestly, do I want to bring it into the house and raise up a new generation of Spam eaters? If we were extremely healthy, maybe I would have given in earlier, but as you can see, we're not. So it took all my willpower to say no to the Spam. But we were at a mall yesterday and there was an Ono Hawaiian BBQ place. The Spam Musubi was crying out to me like a muse and I could no longer resist. I got two Spam Musubi. You know how they say that there will be a big feast in heaven. Well, I have not doubt that Spam Musbi will be one of the many treats in the heavenly buffet.

Unfortunately, my body did not agree with the excessive intake of Spam, and I think I have been cured of my Spam cravings for quite some time. But God, please keep Spam Musubi on the menu in heaven because up there, we won't have to deal with indigestion, right?

This is Why...

Joey and Sam are both sick right now. At least I am assuming Sam is sick. I think I can safely say that Sam's nose has been running for a good three months now. When I took him in for his two year check up, the doctor said that it was allergies. Apparently, even if there is color to his mucus, if it clears up and thins out by the end of the day, it most likely is allergies.

But for our story's purposes, Sam is sick and his nap was equivalent to a long blink. We also put him to bed late because we went to a local sports bar to watch the Orange Bowl (go Hawkeyes!). By the time we got home, gave them a bath and got them ready for bed, the girls were tired and Sam was losing it.

So I scooped him up and squished his body into the length of my cradled arms so that his feet were tucked under his knees. I carried him into this room and rocked on the glider. His head was nestled just above the crook of my arm (too big to fit anymore!) and I pulled him tightly so I could whisper a lullaby and prayer into his ear. When I was done singing, I squeezed him even closer against my body so I could hug him as I carried him to his crib. As I laid him down already half-asleep, I gave him as many kisses as I had breaths and tucked him into this Lightening McQueen blanket. I gently ran my fingers through his hair and said, "I love you Sammy."

With a soft voice and entranced soul that had already begun its journey into dreamland, he whispered, "I love you Mommy."

This is why...

Who Knew It was Cool to be Bad?

I read the recent Time Magazine article on "The Case Against Over-Parenting." It basically made me feel better about my "under-parenting" (kids are watching TV while I type--I really should be making dinner but I just don't feel like it right now). But I guess there is a backlash against the helicopter parents and now people are bragging about what bad parents they are. Hmph, I thought I was being cool and original by being such a crazy mom. Turns out, I am part of a new generation of parents that aren't gunning to be moms of the year.

I don't know if I would let my kid ride a NY subway by himself at age nine, but I don't feel it is necessary to screen the parents before I dump my kid on them for a playdate. My only fear in having my kids be around other moms too much is that my kids will realize what a bum deal they got for a mom.

Alright, I should go reheat those McDonald's nuggets for dinner. Just kidding. Seriously. Organic greens and filet mignon are on the menu for dinner...At least that is what I am having delivered. Just kidding. I am making it all from scratch from my organic garden. Just kidding. (sorry, I got inspired by Judy Grimes from SNL).

Happy Thanksgiving!

They Really Do Like Me!

I threw out my back on Tuesday night. It was so bad that I drove myself to the ER at midnight (three kids at home sleeping so Chang couldn't take me). I was doing lamaze breathing while driving to help manage the pain. When I got to the hospital, the triage nurses asked me what my pain level was on a scale from 1 to 10. After experiencing what it feels like to push a baby out of me without drugs, nothing will ever come close to a 10. So I said 7, but on a really weighted scale. I guess by the look on my face, they wrote a 10 anyway.

At 3 am (diagnosis was just a back spasm/strain), I was at a 24 hour pharmacy (thank God that we live in a big city), getting my prescriptions filled so that Chang would only have to worry about getting the kids ready for school later that morning. I would be on a nice drug high and good for the day. The pain was still excruciating but all the meds made me so drowsy that I kept passing out. I think I slept 20 of the 24 hours. The kids watched A LOT of TV that day...

Today, I woke up stiff but feeling much better. A friend came by and stretched me out. Sam was upset that I stopped our jam session short so he threw his guitar at me. I have the nastiest fat lip you have ever seen. But of course, I can't be mad at my cuddle bunny.

I felt so good (minus the bleeding fat lip) that I went to both of the girls' schools. Both of the teachers were telling me how worried the girls were about me. How sweet! Despite all my ranting and raving, they really do love me. I'm so lucky (minus the gross lip--I'd post a picture but it is a little too discovery channel).

Happy Halloween!

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy halloween!


When I was talking to friends at Elysha's halloween parade at her school, I was dressed like I normally was. A couple friends asked me about my costume (or lack thereof) and I said that I was "scary mom." Someone replied, "but isn't that what you are everyday?" Glad to know that I don't deceive anyone on being mom of the year...

Monica Geller to the Rescue!

Wow! I didn't realize it has already been a week! I am in the east coast right now. Just me. Helping out my sister in law with her new baby. She and baby boy are doing great. So aside from cooking, I am helping her organize. She moved in with her hubby about two years ago and their first floor looks like they just moved in. Boxes and no furniture. The Monica Geller in me got excited at helping her get organized. We've finished the clean up, purchased furniture courtesy of my PB discount, and I am hanging up mirrors and pictures. I even got to use power tools which I haven't used in forever since Chang takes care of all those sorts of things. Let's just hope that everything doesn't fall off the walls when someone closes a door.

The in-laws have no tv and no junk food in the house. I had to buy my own chips and chocolate. I finished reading Jane Eyre last night and I am planning on reading the first two Twilight books again in anticipation of the movie. I thought I would be going through tv withdrawal but since I don't have my kids to wear me out each day, I don't need vegging time in the evenings.

I really do miss my babies though. Sam is so adorable these days and the girls have been pretty cute and less irritating ever since I implemented the 1-2-3 magic system. I'm enjoying my time off but I can't wait to get back home.

1-2-3 Magic!

So we were going through a period in which the kids were acting up and I was yelling at them so much that my throat would be sore by the end of the day. I would essentially throw my own tantrums whenever the kids threw theirs. I would like to say that I was trying to give them a taste of their own medicine but honestly, I was just losing it. I'm talking head-spinning, projectile vomiting losing it--me, not the kids, me.

One day, I realized that my ranting and raving was doing absolutely no good to correct my kids' behavior. Frankly, I was sick of hearing myself too. So I decided that I wasn't going to yell at the kids anymore. A mommy friend whose oldest is two years older than Joey, recommended this discipline book called 1-2-3 Magic years ago. I bought it maybe three years ago, flipped through it and then decided that the time wasn't right to implement it. The tenants of this books flashed before me recently and I realized that now is the time.

The premise of the book is that kids already know what they are doing wrong and parents tend to over-explain themselves. When your kid is acting up or doing something wrong, you look at them and tell your child, "that's one." You give your child another chance to correct their behavior and if they don't, then you say, "that's two." If you child continues to misbehave, then you say, "that's three, take five" (or however many minutes for time out).

It's been working for Joey and Elysha. Sam is too young so I haven't even bothered trying but Lord Almighty, the boy is definitely ready to be whooped soon.

My kids...masking their true insolent identity...

In Denial

For those of you who know my real age, you know that it just can't be possible! Or is it?

I think I am pre-menopausal! I have been getting hot flashes at night (granted it was during the heatwave and now that it has cooled down, I didn't get it tonight), my cycles have been weird, I am eating like crazy, but not gaining weight. If anything, people think I am getting skinnier...I have insomnia but I am always tired (it has been getting better with vitamins and iron supplements). I am also ridiculously emotional. Anything will make me tear up. This is stuff that my mom complains about with menopause. What the heck!?!

I'm in denial. I am too young, right? I mean, I just turned 29-ish!

Just to make myself feel better, I have to share the following: one of my co-workers at PB was shocked to find out I had three kids and said I must have started REALLY young. Okay, I feel better now...

Back on Track

Sorry for being so bad about missing out on the blogging world these last couple of months. I don't even remember what made the summer so crazy except that the girls were home for about a month. Yeah, I guess that would make my life pretty crazy having three kids home with me 24/7...

I completely quit Savvy now that I helped them transition over to their new format. It's strange not having anything other to do except just the normal household stuff. I feel like I have so much time on my hands now.



We've had to wake up earlier so that we can get Joey to school on time. I don't know if it is due to lack of sleep but we have all been really cranky. By the time the kids go to sleep, I am so tired that I just completely veg in front of the TV while eating ice cream. I have discovered the CW shows and I am officially in love with America's Top Model. I find it completely fascinating but I'm not sure why. Maybe it is because I enjoy hating these vapid pretty girls and their petty catfights...but that doesn't explain the tears of sympathy I shed for the girls who get kicked off, and why I am so looking forward to watching the new episode tonight!

Sam had a verbal explosion and he talks like crazy. It's really cute and a huge relief that he can communicate his needs instead of pointing his fingers and grunting. But he also says things like, "That's funny Mommy!" or "Stop it, Daddy!" or "I want ice cream."



We ran out of formula and I decided it's time to say good-bye to the bottle. I thought it would be a difficult transition since the moment he sees his little 4 oz bottle of formula at night, he would grab it, open the cap, start drinking it, go to his sisters and say good-night (and give them a big formula-tasting kiss), and then grab his blankie and a book, climb up the glider and get ready for bed. He loved his bottle and honestly, I loved giving it to him. It was my way of hindering his development and keeping him my little baby. Obviously, he was ready to move on because he hasn't had any problems with the adjustment. Now it is just the thin but super-absorbent line of diapers that keeps Sam in babyland. But that is something I would be more than happy to be done with so we'll start working on potty training. I have no idea how to potty train a boy so this will be a challenge I'm sure.



Joey has a loose tooth! She is so excited. "I'm going to get A LOT of money from the tooth fairy!" she exclaimed. Without looking at her I said, "Mmmm, maybe not a lot of money. Maybe just a quarter which you can put in your piggy bank and put towards your college savings."



We have also been working on Joey not sucking her thumb since August. For the last few years, she has said that she wanted to stop but it was hard for her to commit to it. I finally broke down a bought a thumb guard and it worked really well. Within a week, she didn't need it during the days. At nights, however, she pulls it off and sucks her thumb. But since her tooth came loose, she said that she stopped sucking at nights too because we told her that it might make her tooth come out too early and it will hurt. So Joey might have finally stopped with her thumb sucking which is a major achievement. She found her thumb at three months and has sucked it non-stop since then.

Why Preschool is a Safe Place for Parents to Grow Up

Also posted on Savvy Source:

Last week my oldest daughter started kindergarten camp at her new school. It is hard to believe she has hit this milestone already but here she is. I don't quite understand why she is so excited to start kindergarten. Maybe she got a secret memo that all students will be assigned a unicorn and a fairy godmother. In any case, when we got to the campus which appeared to be as large as a college campus, my daughter proudly walked through the gates. As I walked her to her class, we passed by ten foot boys and girls, and I wondered silently what high school students were doing on the campus. Then I realized that fifth graders are literally twice my daughter's age. I wrapped both of my arms around her as we walked, afraid of the moment that I would have to leave her for the day. We entered her classroom and were welcomed by a dozen students and a friendly teacher. My daughter gave me a kiss goodbye and tried to send me on my way. I left extremely reluctantly. When I found out there was a field trip at the end of the week, I asked if they needed any chaperons. "Nope, we're all set. It's time to let your little birdie leave the nest." Okay, maybe she didn't say that "leaving the nest" comment but that was the look she gave me when I asked to tag along on the field trip. I got back into the car and sobbed. I called my mom for comfort but all she could hear on the other end was high-pitched wailing.

As I smothered my toddler son the rest of that day (I refuse to let my baby grow up in warp speed like my oldest has), I realized how wonderful preschool is. It is a small, safe environment for parents to learn how to slowly let go of our children. I'm sure you probably think I am one of those parents who coddles her children and whose life revolves around them. Believe it or not, I am not...which is why I was so shocked by how emotional I got the day of kindergarten camp (I'm already prepared to completely lose it on the real first day of kindergarten). But I just felt like I was dropping a guppy into a tank full of sharks and hoping she survives the day.

I admit that I cried on the first day of preschool too. But that was for totally different reasons. She's my first born and I felt like it was the first big leap towards her imminent departure from my home...you know...for college. But it wasn't a sense of panic that brought on the tears. It was just the understanding that I had to let go. Preschool is wonderful for that (I realize that I am speaking from a full-time mom's perspective so I apologize). It is the first time that we learn to entrust our children into the hands of others, and also learn to trust our children. It is a place where all the little things we hope we are teaching them are practiced without us hovering over them--like washing hands after using the potty, not snatching toys away from others, and taking turns. It is the first time that they choose their own friends. We can't tell them to stay away from the boy who likes to say poo-poo too much or the girl who eats her boogers. It is a G-rated world where the S word is s-t-u-p-i-d.

Preschool is where parents take that first step towards not being the eyes, ears, and brain for your little ones. You are eased into it. Sometimes just twice a week for three hours at a time. And even then, when your kid picks up a bad habit from another kid in class, that sense of dread washes over you like a shot of Nyquil. It's not pleasant at first, but after a while, you feel warm and tingly. If it wasn't for that girl with the older brother who has been teaching my child how to making farting noises with her armpits, my child would still be perfect! But you realize that the trade-off is kind of nice. During that time away from your child, you could go to the gym, the grocery store, clean the house, and read the first ten chapters of War and Peace--wow, was I always this efficient with an extra two hours of time? Or you actually spend some one on one time with your baby who you never noticed had blue eyes because all those months you were breastfeeding, you were holding your baby in one arm, and wiping your newly potty-trained son's butt with the other. In any case, you get used to it pretty darn quickly. You embrace the idea of your child attending preschool and feel like this is going to be it. For two years, you are surrounded by the same twelve kids, you know all the moms, dads, nannies, siblings, grandparents, second cousins twice removed. It is a safe world. Then the world as you know it is ripped from you like a band-aid on a hairy arm. It hurts. A lot.

I know that I will get used to kindergarten and elementary school. I can't help but feel all the more grateful for preschool--the safety and comfort it provided me, as a parent, to let go of my child slowly, before entering the big world of grade school. And with that, I bid you adieu, Savvy readers. This is my last week. I am enjoyed my tenure but it is time for me to move on. I leave you in the capable hands of Elise Crane Derby, a former preschool teacher and blogger extraordinaire!

Same Place, Different Times

We went up to the bay area a couple weekends ago for a wedding. My old youth student whom I taught from the time she was 12 until 18, got married. It was a beautiful wedding. It was a short trip but we wanted to do some sightseeing for the girls. They really wanted to see the Golden Gate bridge. But of course, it was windy and cold at the viewing point. So after a few pictures of them with the bridge behind them, they just wanted to go back into the car.

While we were driving up, we had snacks strewn all around the car. Chips, cookies, remnants from our McDonald's lunch--I looked at our car and realized it looked like that Foster's Farm commercial with the chickens and the junk food filled car.

We also stopped in Sausalito for ice cream before heading up to Napa Valley for the wedding. I wanted to take a picture at the same place that we took a picture with just Joey when she was one month old. My how time flies!

Oh how clueless we were back then...

Now the family is complete! I know, I haven't aged at all, right? RIGHT???

Putting on a brave face in the freezing temps...

The girls loved all the flowers at the wedding, and my pashmina. I think they also took these pictures of each other.

Sam trying to get in on the action...

Mini Chang

Chang took Sam to get a haircut. He swears he didn't ask for it, but the woman gave him the EXACT same haircut. I don't like it. It makes Sam look older and that makes me sad.

It was an emotional weekend for me, reasons that I have never been good talking about. Times like these helps me to realize how blessed I am: I have the most amazing husband and three adorable children who embody unconditional love. The great thing about kids is that they are always willing to give you hugs and kisses and make you feel like you are the best thing that ever graced the face of this earth.

I also had a couple interesting conversations with Joey this weekend. I told Joey that I am excited and sad about her starting kindergarten. She asked me why I was sad. I told her because after she is all done with school, when she is 18 years old, she can go anywhere she wants to go for college. I told her that I went far away to Boston for school. She thought about it and said that she wanted to stay close to home. "Promise?" I asked her. "I promise," she assured me. I know I talk big about downsizing to a one bed room cottage on the beach after Sam goes to college so that they can NEVER move back in with us. But I have a feeling there will always be room at the inn.

Also, Joey told me that one of her friend's older brother told her friend that there is no God. I asked Joey what she thought. She said that she believed God was real. I told her I believe so too. Then I told her that she has to hold onto her belief no matter what other people say. It is so cool how at this age, her faith seems so unshakable.

We are getting ready for Elysha's birthday. We're having a very small party at our house again and invited Silvermist to join in on the festivities. I try to not talk about her party with her because I don't want her to talk about it at school. I've been preoccupied with other stuff so I don't have my normal spreadsheets (well, I still have one but with less details and tables than I normally have). Hopefully it will also still go well.

Making New Friends

Also posted on Savvy Source...I thought it was a fun article to write so I thought I would share...

When my older daughter was four-months old, we moved from the Bay Area to Los Angeles. Back in the Bay Area, I had so many friends who had children so I would have been very comfortable with a support group already established. Moving to a new city with a new baby and no friends was terrifying. We first moved into an apartment near Roxbury Park so I walked there almost daily in the hopes of meeting new people. That's when I realized how much I sucked at being outgoing, friendly, vivacious. There was a reason I was in yearbook and not in cheerleading in high school. So I would sit on the park bench with my daughter whose physical activity was limited to drooling and wondered why it was hard to make friends for my daughter and me. Five years later and two more kids later, I am going through a similar process with my one year old son. But this time around, it is so much easier. Here is what I have learned along the way to making friends for my children and me:

No mom (or dad) is an island. Whether you are a working parent or a full-time parent, you need to find a support group beyond your family. Fellow moms and dads are great at empathizing, being a sounding board, or giving advice for situations that only we could understand. Also, being a first-time parent is scary. It is very helpful to hang out with other parents so you realize that you're not the only one who feels like you're drowning in diapers, onesies and the occasional self-pity.

Can't we all just get along? I love being in LA for many reasons. One of them is the diversity of people you'll meet. And as many different parenting philosophies there are out there, you will meet the parents who follow them, from Dr. Sears to Dr. Dobson to everything in between. For the most part, everyone is accepting of each other and we learn from each other. From family beds to breastfeeding toddlers to disciplining, I feel like I seen it all and it is great because my kids have seen it all too. What we have learned is that we're all different but we're all okay. It has lead to some interesting questions from a two year old like, "Why does John have two moms?" but like a beauty pageant contestant, I manage to answer the questions with grace and poise, and wrap it all up with world peace.

The Dating Game. When I first moved down and was trying to meet people, it was like I was out in the dating scene again. I was going to mommy and me classes and moms group, scoping out the landscape. After talking to a mom a few times, the class time ends with the mental game: should I get her number or ask if she wants to hang out after class? I remember the first time I got asked out to playdate, I called my husband so excited. "She asked me for my number and wants to go out together on Thursday!" These days I am less desperate to meet people, but I am also more outgoing. I don't hesitate to get a phone number and schedule a playdate. I figured there is nothing to lose and who knows? I might end up meeting a new lifelong friend for me and my children.

Here, There, Everywhere. Wondering where to start meeting other parents? They're everywhere! Classes, parks, and recreation centers. I have met my friends through mommy and me classes, my daughters' preschool, church, this blogsite, and trying on maternity clothes at Old Navy. It's amazing how much people are seeking community and how many cool parents you can meet. I keep thinking of the profound song that is sung during an Elmo's World episode on friends. I'll leave you with the words (doing this from memory since I've seen it oh, 547 times, but if some of the words of off, please forgive me):

Stretch out your hand and say hello
You might meet someone just like you who's really good to know
It's really fun to see how friendships grow
when you stretch out your hand and say
ain't life just grand and say hello!

On the Black List

Okay, so maybe I am not the most conscientious mother of three. I let Sam make a mess of things if it means I can talk to a friend for five seconds. But I cross-my-heart swear that I clean up after him. Often times, I hold him in my left arm so he is hanging like superman, and his arms are swinging, his body is bucking, and his legs are kicking, and with my right hand, I put things back in their place and then make a run for it, before I drop him like the 28 pound sack of potatoes that he is.

Sam was going crazy at the pediatrician's office on Wednesday, tearing through the waiting room like a tornado. Every time I stopped him from messing stuff up, he just lost it, screaming and howling, throwing his body around. I went up to the reception desk and asked about their return policy. I did not receive full disclosure prior to receipt of the package. How does one little Y chromosome make such a big difference?

So I don't have Stepford children and I am certainly no Stepford mother. Whatever...despite receiving a couple CNNBC reports that I have won mother of the year (thank you, it really is an honor), I don't care. But apparently, my laissez-faire mothering method really irks the girls' preschool teacher. If she could, she would be giving me time outs, or sending me home with notes of my unacceptable behavior. Whenever I pick up the girls from school, I bring Sam into the classroom with me. I have the girls go to the bathroom and wash their hands before we get into the car. I do my best to hold Sam down. But I have to sign the girls out and I can't do that one handed. So Sam the Destroyer does his best to do as much damage as possible. And sometimes, I have to pee, or help the girls gather their work, or talk to a friend about the fact that she is broke, or dealing with a boyfriend's crazy ex-wife...important stuff, not just chit-chat. But every time I let Sam off his leash, the teacher gets upset with me. I put things back into their place, but she comes out of her office and turns a puzzle 37 degrees right and whines, "I feel like I am repeating myself everyday. Just get in and get out."

I'm almost afraid that she won't let Sam into the school because a) she sees how crazy he is; and b) she will have to deal with me for another two years. As much as I am annoyed, I have to say that I am impressed with how much the girls are learning and I have nothing to do with it.

Earthquake (both physical and emotional)

Yup, we felt the earthquake. I was putting the girls to bed (i.e. falling asleep in between them on the full size bottom bunk while they goof around beside me) when I was rattled awake by the shake.

I am a little freaked out that a major earthquake will hit while the girls are sleeping and they will be crushed by the top bunk. So after the first quake, I made the girls sleep on the floor of their room tonight. I'm sure they will be back in the bottom bunk by tomorrow night, but for tonight, I am letting my fears get the better of me.

Talking about freaking out, Joey is starting to learn to ride her bike without training wheels. She is very anxious to learn. She came home the other day, proudly exclaiming that she can ride her bike without the training wheels. Chang basically runs beside her with his hand on the handle bar. Whenever she feels steady, he lets go for anywhere from 5 seconds to 10 seconds. We went to the park again today and I was so eager to see Joey ride. But the moment I saw Chang take his hand off the bike, my heart stopped beating. I don't think I can witness this. It is too scary for me. I want to bundle her in bubble wrap or have her ride on a trail lined with cotton candy...not unreasonable, right?

My Beautiful Girls

I forgot to post a picture of my mommy. We met her the week before mother's day. Growing up, my mom was a girlie girl and being rebellious, I was anti-glam. I think I wore jeans, a Hanes t-shirt, and flip-flops every day my senior year in high school. Still don't know how to do my hair and recently realized that make-up really can be a good friend. And yeah, starting to really love shoes. I must have like 15 pairs now--which is a lot for me.

Anyhow, my mom has always loved shoes. The one and only time I ever heard her curse in English was when she scrapped her Ferragamo boots against a brick wall. So I have been buying her really nice shoes these days for special occasions. But I figured she deserves it. She is a survivor in so many ways and she still tries to take care of us. It is about time I treat her to luxuries that she would never buy for herself.

My kun-emo--she is my second mom. Of course, my little babies. Joey, with her poses (seriously, where did she learn that from?) and Elysha with her precious smile. Okay, Sam isn't a girl but he is attached to my hip so he is an extension of me.

I am so blessed to have such beautiful women in my life.