Why Preschool is a Safe Place for Parents to Grow Up

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Last week my oldest daughter started kindergarten camp at her new school. It is hard to believe she has hit this milestone already but here she is. I don't quite understand why she is so excited to start kindergarten. Maybe she got a secret memo that all students will be assigned a unicorn and a fairy godmother. In any case, when we got to the campus which appeared to be as large as a college campus, my daughter proudly walked through the gates. As I walked her to her class, we passed by ten foot boys and girls, and I wondered silently what high school students were doing on the campus. Then I realized that fifth graders are literally twice my daughter's age. I wrapped both of my arms around her as we walked, afraid of the moment that I would have to leave her for the day. We entered her classroom and were welcomed by a dozen students and a friendly teacher. My daughter gave me a kiss goodbye and tried to send me on my way. I left extremely reluctantly. When I found out there was a field trip at the end of the week, I asked if they needed any chaperons. "Nope, we're all set. It's time to let your little birdie leave the nest." Okay, maybe she didn't say that "leaving the nest" comment but that was the look she gave me when I asked to tag along on the field trip. I got back into the car and sobbed. I called my mom for comfort but all she could hear on the other end was high-pitched wailing.

As I smothered my toddler son the rest of that day (I refuse to let my baby grow up in warp speed like my oldest has), I realized how wonderful preschool is. It is a small, safe environment for parents to learn how to slowly let go of our children. I'm sure you probably think I am one of those parents who coddles her children and whose life revolves around them. Believe it or not, I am not...which is why I was so shocked by how emotional I got the day of kindergarten camp (I'm already prepared to completely lose it on the real first day of kindergarten). But I just felt like I was dropping a guppy into a tank full of sharks and hoping she survives the day.

I admit that I cried on the first day of preschool too. But that was for totally different reasons. She's my first born and I felt like it was the first big leap towards her imminent departure from my home...you know...for college. But it wasn't a sense of panic that brought on the tears. It was just the understanding that I had to let go. Preschool is wonderful for that (I realize that I am speaking from a full-time mom's perspective so I apologize). It is the first time that we learn to entrust our children into the hands of others, and also learn to trust our children. It is a place where all the little things we hope we are teaching them are practiced without us hovering over them--like washing hands after using the potty, not snatching toys away from others, and taking turns. It is the first time that they choose their own friends. We can't tell them to stay away from the boy who likes to say poo-poo too much or the girl who eats her boogers. It is a G-rated world where the S word is s-t-u-p-i-d.

Preschool is where parents take that first step towards not being the eyes, ears, and brain for your little ones. You are eased into it. Sometimes just twice a week for three hours at a time. And even then, when your kid picks up a bad habit from another kid in class, that sense of dread washes over you like a shot of Nyquil. It's not pleasant at first, but after a while, you feel warm and tingly. If it wasn't for that girl with the older brother who has been teaching my child how to making farting noises with her armpits, my child would still be perfect! But you realize that the trade-off is kind of nice. During that time away from your child, you could go to the gym, the grocery store, clean the house, and read the first ten chapters of War and Peace--wow, was I always this efficient with an extra two hours of time? Or you actually spend some one on one time with your baby who you never noticed had blue eyes because all those months you were breastfeeding, you were holding your baby in one arm, and wiping your newly potty-trained son's butt with the other. In any case, you get used to it pretty darn quickly. You embrace the idea of your child attending preschool and feel like this is going to be it. For two years, you are surrounded by the same twelve kids, you know all the moms, dads, nannies, siblings, grandparents, second cousins twice removed. It is a safe world. Then the world as you know it is ripped from you like a band-aid on a hairy arm. It hurts. A lot.

I know that I will get used to kindergarten and elementary school. I can't help but feel all the more grateful for preschool--the safety and comfort it provided me, as a parent, to let go of my child slowly, before entering the big world of grade school. And with that, I bid you adieu, Savvy readers. This is my last week. I am enjoyed my tenure but it is time for me to move on. I leave you in the capable hands of Elise Crane Derby, a former preschool teacher and blogger extraordinaire!