Survivor: Seattle/Vancouver

Your challenge: to go on "vacation" with two young girls and a baby boy for 11 days without losing your mind.

We just got back from what Chang and I envisioned to be a relaxing family vacation while we showed the girls the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Let me just say that the word vacation has a whole new meaning to it. It is like Tiananmen Square--the "gate of heavenly peace" was the site of a gruesome massacre. Now when you mention the area, people immediately think of the blood shed, not the monuments or the massive buildings--we think of how the Chinese army tried to take down the demonstration with brute force. Okay, my example may not be the best comparison, but if you say the words "family vacation" to me, I will run away screaming from you like a madwoman; I will shudder with the horrible memories of how my girls did their best to chip away at my sanity with their constant whining, complaining, and fighting.

We did what any good parent would do when we had had enough of their whining--we tried reason, extortion, beatings, bribery--we even tried the whole Korean guilt trip mind games that worked so well on our generation. But to our kids, our words fell on deaf ears. We saw Orca whales swimming and jumping in the Pacific Ocean; we saw Bison, Elk, Caribou eating, sleeping, and walking through their woodland habitat; we gave the girls princess makeovers in Vancouver. There was no appreciation for any of these things. Instead we just heard, "my nail polish is already coming off!" or "how much longer until we get off this boat?" or the beloved phrase that I thought was just an urban legend, "are we there yet?"

We got to another amazing destination and as Chang turned off the engine he muttered, "yet another thing these girls don't deserve."

Well, we are back. I never thought I would be so happy to get back home and back into the normal routine of things like sending the girls off to school everyday.

I don't know if we will be going on another torture trip anytime soon. I think the trick is to not do anything but lounge at the pool or at the beach. You know, things you could do here in LA without spending thousands of dollars for airfare, hotels and rental car fees.

What about Sam? I was only complaining about the girls. He was the perfect baby, as usual. Slept in the car, slept at the hotel, slept on the airplane, and didn't fuss if he was hungry...just perfect.