No Waste Family

That is what I call our family to our kids whenever they do something that is wasteful to me--"What family are we?" In monotone unison, "The no waste family." "That's right so eat that last grain of rice!"

I really hate it when things or food go to waste. I am not sure if it is the Korean immigrant mentality in me, the tree hugger in me, or the scrooge in me--probably a combination of all three.

While I don't go to the lengths of 1st generation Korean moms who would reuse ziplock bags (I actually rarely use ziplocks because they are not recycleable, but if I do and there are no greasy food particles in it, I will use it to wrap Sam's poopy pull-up), I am pretty bad, or good, depending on your perspective--

All the artwork our children do at home is on the back of a piece of paper. Only if they are drawing a picture for someone's birthday card, do I give them ONE piece of clean paper. When I give them the pristine sheet of paper, their eyes light up like it is Christmas.

If there is cake leftover from a birthday party, I see it as my own personal mission to eat it all up before it goes bad. Once we had 1/4 sheet of ice cream cake left and I ate it all up on my own in less than a week. It was a tough job but the thought of throwing out all that cake was too painful.

As far as I am concerned, those "best used by" dates on food are an approximation, give or take a year...and that includes dairy products. Chang and I are big into the sniff test. A little sour odor just means there are more active bacteria to help us poop better...waaay better.

Reduce, reuse, recycle!

Mean Girls

After reading about Phoebe Prince, it got me thinking. As I mentioned before, Joey was having issues at school with her friends. From what her teacher told me, Joey is a part of this group of girls which mostly consists of four girls. Out of these four girls, there is one little girl, O, that everyone just adores. Joey considers this girl her best friend. Trouble is, I think that all the girls consider O their best friend. Another little girl in their group is a very dominant, alpha-female sort of personality, A. Whenever Joey and O were getting close, A would get jealous and be mean to Joey. She would exclude Joey from games, get the other girls to exclude Joey, and say mean things to her.

Every now and then, when I picked up Joey from school, she would tell me that O or A were being mean to her, and I didn't take it too seriously. I would just tell her to walk away, find other people to play with, or that it was okay to play on her own too.

One day when I was picking up Joey from school, she looked really forlorn. She was being comforted by her teacher and was so distracted that she didn't see me coming. I asked what was going on and her teacher told me what was going on for the past few weeks. I felt so bad for Joey that she had to experience such aggressive behavior from other girls. But at the same time, I was surprised that it could all start so young. The teacher informed me that she had emailed A's parents and told them that their daughter's behavior was not acceptable. She didn't think that Joey was culpable and because she is so sweet and sensitive, her teacher thought it made her an easier target for A. So I tried to help Joey cultivate stronger friendships with each of these girls individually. But now I would like to try and help Joey become better friends with other little girls in her class--girls who are not so dominant and aggressive. It's funny because the teacher referred to Joey's little clique as the popular group--already! In kindergarten! Her teacher threw her hands up in the air and with disbelief said that she couldn't believe it started so young. She said that every year, there is a group of girls in her class that are catty and mean. The troubling thing that she said is that it just gets worse--even more reason to get Joey closer to other kids.

I've learned two things from all this: 1) to teach Joey to stand up for herself. As the oldest child, she has been brainwashed to give in to her brother and sister. I think we have always valued sacrifice and admired Joey for her willingness to give up things or privileges to her siblings. But now we have been trying to teach her that it is okay to say no, but just not be mean in her refusal. 2) to teach all three kids the golden rule should be applied in reverse too. We keep harping on the girls especially to treat other people the way they want to be treated. But now I am also telling Joey that she should expect people to treat her with kindness and if they don't, then perhaps those are not friends worth keeping.

Sorry, another brain puking post but it's hard to believe I am dealing with such issues with my kindergartener (not to freak you out Mommy Lim) and it is making me flashforward to the girls' future and hoping and praying that they find good friends. Chances are, the friends they make in their first two years of elementary school will be their closest friends until they graduate 5th grade and possibly beyond. So it isn't entirely neurotic of me to be concerned, right?

Happy 4-0 Baby!

I know how much Chang loves it when I shout it out from the rooftops that he is turning 40 today. That's right folks, the big 4-0. Four decades, practically half a century!!!

All kidding aside, I just wanted to write about how wonderful he is.

My dearest hubby,

Happy Birthday! I know you wanted it to be a low-key event but how could we not acknowledge you in a special way. You are the most special person I know to whom I did not give birth (cuz you know that our kids are pretty darn special too, and I give you props for your half of the gene pool).

From the moment we got together almost nine years ago, I did not want to go one day without spending it with you. I still feel this way. I look forward to the time you come home from work for many reasons--even beyond helping me out with the kids, I am just happy that you have come home to me, right where you belong. I can't imagine my life without you. You are the greatest husband, father, friend, love that I could have asked for. I know that God brought you into my life with purpose for He knew exactly whom I needed. You are compassionate, considerate, caring towards the kids and me. You are the perfect partner with whom I can laugh, cry, converse and bicker. I am so grateful because I know that I can be my dorky self with you and even though you may roll your eyes at me, you accept me just as I am.

Thank you for being the amazing man that you are. Thank you for loving me and the kids so fiercely. I look forward to spending the next forty years of your life together.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Brain Puking Blog Post

Sorry for the long silence. I'm not sure why I haven't been writing. Probably because I am still tired. The kids have been sleeping better though we still get the occasional early morning cry from Sam. I've taught Joey how to tell time so she knows to not come into our room before 7am. Elysha continues to sleep blissfully until she gets woken up. I don't know what it is but I am exhausted.

I've decided to keep the kids home with me for five weeks. If I put the kids in school all summer, it would cost over $6000 for two months. So it makes fiscal sense to have them home with me. I think I can handle it (I think I can, I think I can). I have already devised a daily morning and afternoon schedule for those five weeks in order to keep myself from freaking out. It consists of hikes, beach trips, museum trips, library trips, as well as cooking classes from Chef Mommy and Korean classes from Uhmma (just the alphabet and basic words would be awesome). If the kids and I come out of July alive but absolutely nothing accomplished, I will still consider it a success. If you hear a sudden burst of song August 2nd in the morning, it will be me singing hallelujah, the kids are all in school!

Another part of my fatigue is probably all the playdates I have been hosting. I still feel like Joey has yet to really find her groove with her friends at school. I am getting the sense that the person Joey likes the most in her class doesn't feel the same way about her. So I am trying to help Joey build stronger connections with other classmates but that means hosting two to three playdates a week. Of course, if I host one playdate for Joey, then I feel obliged to do the same for Elysha. It's such a foreign concept to me that I have to work this hard for my kids to have friends. Growing up, all of the families in our little cul-de-sac had kids around the same age. After school, we would all hang out on our street and play kick ball or ride bikes. Or I would just go over to my best friend's house who lived a couple doors down from me. There was no organization for playdates. Everyday was a playdate.

I'm sure I had homework in elementary school but I don't remember ever doing any. But everyday there is the stress of getting Joey's homework done and then practicing piano and hopefully reading a little bit. All this while trying to not completely ignore Elysha and Sam, as well as do the dishes from the day and then cook a dinner that would make Jamie Oliver proud. I think I just feel worn down from the daily routine. Not to mention Chang's upcoming birthday, and converting our office to a guest room, and an impending visit from my sister in law, and errands for my mom, and dealing with my dad.

I hope I don't sound depressed because I am not...though after writing all this I think I should be! As much as my life drives me insane, I know that I am still blessed. I have a good life and my complaints are trivial in the grand scheme of things. But I am still counting down the days until August 2! I will finally get a break and (gasp!) be on my own for the first time in almost seven years. I can't even wrap my head around the idea of it but I am sure I will get used to it really quick!

Sam's Haircut...

This isn't the first haircut Sam has gotten, but it is the first time I was there to witness. Before I would be too sad to actually watch the shears snip away at Sam's baby hair. Chang and I have a deal that no clippers will touch Sam's head. As I keep saying, I want to keep him my little baby as long as possible, and when his hair is shaved on the sides, he looks too grown up.

How many people does it take to cut one kid's hair? Answer: Three!

Looking at Daddy helps Sam keep his cool...

Ta-da! The finished product and his just reward.

Zombieland and Other Dead Things

Chang and I are looking and acting scary these days. For the last week or two (feels like forever), the kids have been waking up in the middle of the night. Not sure what is up but all I know is that we are miserably tired.

We also had a mysterious smell coming from Sam's room. We thought it was a runaway diaper so we were looking everywhere. I washed everything inside the room. Chang steam cleaned the carpets and the bathroom floor in the kids' bathroom. We were sure it was one too many potty accidents or a mystery diaper. But the smell persisted. Finally I began to wonder if something died under our house. We just put up screens on all crawl space access points under our house. Sure enough, a possum breathed its last vermin breath under our house and nature was taking its course. So gross!

So sorry for the long absence but I have been functioning on very little brain cells as lack of sleep and the toxic fumes have been killing the already limited quantity on hand.

Ode to Butter: How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways...

I made these blueberry muffins with a cinnamon crumb top and they were delicious. But my favorite part was the crumb top which is made with butter, cinnamon, flour and sugar. I ate three in one sitting, and each time I ate the crispy, flavorful, crumb top, I couldn't help but think to myself how much I love butter. It makes everything butter, I mean better.

Seriously. Whoever thought of churning cream until it thickened and became a solid substance should have won the Nobel prize.

Other genius food creations which inventors I applaud is bacon and any food items that contain bacon, anything fried, cheese, hamburgers (which is why cheeseburgers with onion rings and bacon are my favorite), steak, prime rib, Korean BBQ, and potatoes of any kind.

Hungry yet???